Victoria Can Keep Her Secret.

For years, I've worn the same "every day" bra. From Victoria's Secret, it is a perfectly unlined, perfectly shaped, perfectly comfortable bra. Of course they discontinued it.

So this weekend Todd and I went shopping for wedding stuff (we got his wedding band, love it!) and we stopped into Vicky's so that I could use a gift certificate I had from my birthday. I asked the bra lady (who stood there so innocently with that measuring tape around her neck) to look at the bra I was wearing and tell me what "replacement" they had for my style. (This made Todd very uncomfortable, me pulling my underpants out in front of the entire store, I explained to him that it's all chicks in there and no one cares, he said he had to go to Banana Republic.)

Anyway, she said that she's never seen my bra before (automatically brings her expertise into question) but that she's got some others she think might "do". She asked me my size and handed me a box full of bras in that size to try.

I asked her to come in and really fit me for the bras, make sure the strap was correct, all that jazz. How often do you have a lady there with you who knows this stuff, does it all day long? So she walks into the dressing room and says, "Honey, you need a cup size larger."

Normally, this would not be a problem. I mean, girls usually like this, right? But for me, it means something completely different. It means it's time to shed a few lb's. I wanted to cry there in the dressing room. But I bought those big cups and took them home with me.

Then I realized something...My weight hasn't fluctuated that much since I last bought bras...Victoria's secret is that she sizes her bras smaller, so that women feel confident about buying the larger sizes, they feel like they have a nice rack, because that's what society tells them to think, so they buy more.

I've got Victoria all figured out. And I hate her.