You have to ask yourself, are you smart enough to be a parent?

This is really an embarrassing story. So of course I'm going to post it online for the entire Internet population to enjoy.

I've taken three pregnancy tests in the last 24 hours. Not because I didn't trust the responses I was receiving, but because I am an idiot and can't follow simple, illustrated instructions. Illustrated.

The reason this is so strange to me -- I've given probably 100 urine pregnancy tests in my lifetime - to patients at the doctor's office where I worked in college. But these new ones, they're tricky. They've got newfangled, fancy digital readings of "pregnant" and "not pregnant". There's a whole "plug in the strip-make sure the arrows line up-look for the light to blink-wait 5 seconds for this-wait 15 seconds for that-make sure it's lying flat-put your left leg in the bathroom sink-roll toilet paper around your wrists" thing going on. When you're tired and dying from allergies, this is too much to handle!

Thank goodness I bought the box that contained three tests, or I would have run out of options the first or second time.

I think, that even if you aren't sexually active, if you've never even thought about sex, that taking a home pregnancy test is the most stressful thing in the world.

Never My Love

I hear this song on the old 98.7 all the time, and every time it comes on, I remember how much I love it.

You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love
Never my love

You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love
Never my love

What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you...
Never my love
Never my love

You say you fear I'll change my mind
And I won't require you
Never my love
Never my love

How can you think love will end
When I've asked you to spend your whole life
With me...

Names and Spell Checker

You're blessed today. Two posts from me in one day. I mean -- luck-y.

I need to say up front that what I'm going to type here, it's just an opinion. Your opinion might differ greatly from mine (and it likely does) so please don't be offended. Again, just my preference, my opinion. (I am obsessed with not offending, hence, not responding to my realtor's emails and calls all day today in case I choose to buy a townhome without her assistance.)

I like names that are traditional in nature. I like for a name to be spelled the way it has always been spelled, not throwing extra y's or vowels into it to give the name its own unique flavor. For some reason, this really gets to me. Grates on me, actually.

Does this mean I'm a conformist? God I hope not. I tend to buck the system in every other corner of the world around me, except when it comes to how names are spelled. (Notice I didn't say, "how you spell your name", because 99% of you likely didn't choose the spelling of your name, your parents did.)

Nice segue. So if you've had a name your entire life, you may not know that it's spelled differently than most. This never occurred to me until today. MY PARENTS SPELLED MY NAME IN A NON-CONFORMIST NAME SPELLING MANNER. Lauri. Not Lori, not Lauren, not Laurie. Just Lauri. Without the "e". I started noticing around my office that even though I've been here three years, some of the employees (my day to day co-workers) still spell my name with an E. Many of my clients do it. Vendors. My realtor. People who send me junk mail.

The reason I know that my name is spelled differently is because it's not spelled the way almost everyone assumes it is.

Of course, my thoughts on the spelling of someone's name always go back to the parents. I don't dislike Jynnifur because her parents misspelled her name. It's not her fault. I don't dislike a baby because his name is all jacked up, I just ask the parents what they were thinking when they signed the birth certificate? I mean, really?

So I've got Lauri. And now Luckey. A common word, with an "e" thrown into it. Perhaps I should take the "e" from the last name and attach it to the first, then I will be a normal girl. And people will spell it the right way, the first time.

Nah, I still think Lauri is normal; it's everyone else that's absurd.

I can't take it anymore.

This home buying, home shopping, home inspecting, home searching...it's wearing me out. On Friday, we had pretty much narrowed down our choices to two homes -- one, a nice new home with tons of updates and a neat little backyard, everything perfect. The second, a friend's mother's home -- she is going into a nursing home and they're needing to sell the home quickly - a perfect "fixer-upper", great floorplan and great potential.

Home number one is near a railroad track. Well, the track is right behind the backyard fence. We went back to look at it yesterday and per the advice of our families, not a good idea, considering that if we had to sell it quickly for any reason we should be prepared for it to sit on the market for a while until someone else who doesn't mind trains comes along and takes it. It's really a great house - the lady who is selling it has done some really neat work on it. But, she can't rip up the train track and make it a great home in a great location.

Home number two. At first glance, perfect. We'd be able to get a great deal on it from our friend and go in and fix it up just how we like it...Until my cousin came to look at it yesterday and found that the stains on the carpet are actually coming up from the floor where there is clearly some major foundation issues. We can't have that, obviously.

So we're back to square one. The clock that's ticking for us is the apartment lease clock. We have to tell them by March 31 if we're going to renew or stay here - it's just not enough time.

Yesterday afternoon we stopped by a new development that is near Todd's parents' house that has "garden homes" (zero lot line) and townhomes. We'd never investigated this because we thought they were out of our price range, but after more research and looking at them, it seems that the townhomes might be an option. We're doing more research this week, but again, it will take some time for them to build the one we want. It'd be a great starter home - not an apartment, not a full-blown house. And it would have great re-sell value. Jack wouldn't get the yard we've been promising him, but he would have his own little patch of grass to go potty on.

So then there's the realtor dilemma. She's been helping us for a year, she's driven us around the metroplex searching for just the right home. If we go the townhome route, she won't get paid and won't be involved. I emailed her last night to let her know that we were looking into the townhomes and she responded asking if we'd still let her handle the transactions. We won't be able to, and this is really making my moral compass spin off the charts. I know that it's "just business" and that we have to do what's right for us. But I hate that she's worked so hard for us and is getting nothing. As a matter of fact, it makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Quite simply, I'm tired of throwing money away in rent. But I know that we've got to keep looking, that right now just isn't the right time. I am so preoccupied with all of it that I can barely sleep at night. If I fall asleep on the couch in the evenings, Todd just leaves me there, because waking me up means that I get in bed and stare at the ceiling all night. Last night was one of those nights, and this morning I woke up fully clothed under a blanket on the couch that he put on top of me. Poor guy, he's probably wondering what made him think it was a good idea to marry such a basketcase.