When did they change the way they size swimsuits?

Canon, my ass.

Oh, say can you see
by the dawn's early light?
What so proudly we hailed
at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched,
were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare,
the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

It occurred to me the other day while listening to the radio that I do not know what "ramparts" are.

rampart, noun
1. A fortification consisting of an embankment, often with a parapet built on top.
2. A means of protection or defense; a bulwark.

The people on the radio were saying ramparts were canons. I knew that shit was wrong. I sincerely hope you feel good about knowing this today. Anything else?

At your fingertips.

Do you remember, back in school, when you had to research a subject -- find all the details, ins and outs, in order to compile a "research paper" or "term paper"? Do you remember reading books and discussing them in classes with professors and other students, going only on what you glean from the book itself and your ideas? What if you had to write a paper on a particular book or theory...research was done at the library, from reference books or periodicals...Remember when they were called "periodicals?"

Today I was doing some quick research on "Siddhartha", by Hermann Hesse. I wanted to know the real Siddhartha's relation to this book -- trying to figure out how fictional the book is, its relation to Buddha, etc., etc., etc. Basically, Todd and I had lots of questions about it and needed to do some research.

Anyway, I came across tons of commentaries, study guides, synopses, you name it. If I were in school, I wouldn't have to actually read anything! There would be no need to generate a thought of my own because all thoughts from A to Z are right there on the Internet! How easy it must be to be a student of literature or other social sciences these days. Really, students don't actually have to touch a real life book if they don't want to.

Cliff and his notes...That was nothing compared to the Internet and all its scholastic homicide.

I'm worried. I'm devastated. This is truly troubling me. As if I need something else to keep me up at night.

Music's good.

I'm having a crazy busy day today. Crazy busy week, actually. This is a good thing, however, it leaves me grinding my teeth at night and stressed to the max.

But today, Todd sent me to work with the new Jack Johnson CD, the new U2, and a couple of Iron & Wine CD's. And I really like the Jack Johnson. This is good, considering Todd also got us tickets to a show Jack's doing in Grapevine this year. The U2 is pretty good, my priest suggested it and I'm slowing getting into it. All Iron & Wine is good.

So, confirmed -- music makes me happy.

I'm going tonight to pick out and purchase a veil. This is also stressful.

I can't quit dreaming about weddings at night -- whether they're mine, a family member's, a stranger's, an ex's. I'm not even that obsessed with my wedding. Must be heavy on my mind. I also have quit sleeping on my couch, am sleeping in my bed, and am tossing and turning all night long.

Get used to it.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have just a normal name, one that everyone automatically knows how to spell? Like Bill. Or Jane. Something like that. My whole life, I've had to spell my name, Lauri -- "No, not Lori, not Laurie, not Laura, not Lorie." I've also had to explain, "It's Brian, B-R-EYE-A-N, no 'y'." Every time. Not once has someone written both names down correctly.

I'm thinking of this because this weekend, whether we were with the realtor looking at homes or out shopping, etc., this always came up. I was always standing there, spelling.

But I realized something this weekend. Todd was also spelling. But Todd not only has to spell his name for people, "It's Luckey, L-U-C-K-E-Y," he has to then take all the comments that automatically follow. "Ahhh, so you're lucky!" "Lucky, eh? That's pretty cool." "OOOoooohhhh....Lucky!"

So now I will be Lauri (ends in "i", "no e", not Lori) Lee (masculine, not feminine spelling) Luckey (with an "e", ooohhh, ahhhhh....)

Then there's the alliteration.

I'm not complaining here about any of my current or future names. I like my name. And I like what will be my new last name, I mean, let's be honest, it's reason enough to marry him. Luckey. I'm just sayin'...Lots of spelling and explaining in my future, if history teaches us anything. I don't know why we don't just all wear nametags. Perhaps I need a tattoo, so that when "they" ask, I'll always have it handy to show and tell.

Dream a Little Dream

Last night, I had the strangest dreams about my wedding. First, I dreamed that we were getting married in Mexico. Which is where we met, so it only made sense in the dream (at the time.) For some reason, nothing was organized or prepared. It was all a mess. I kept looking at my sister, because I thought she had organized everything (getting my dress there, etc.) and she kept looking at me like I was crazy. So I didn't have a dress, I was wearing some weird looking seersucker see-through pajama looking pants and shirt (they were white).

Then I remembered that Todd and I hadn't picked out wedding bands. So I went to him and reminded him of this, and he said "Don't worry, I took care of all of that." I was so excited, but a little upset that I'd allowed us to see each other before the ceremony. He took the rings out of his pocket, and his was hideous. It was a huge gold and silver ring, much larger than any class ring ever thought about being, with rubies all over the sides of it, big ones. And on the top, he had used my grandmother's diamonds to spell "T + L" on the top of it. (I currently have some diamonds that were my grandmother's in my possession to use for my wedding band.) I don't remember what the band looked like that got for me. But his was truly nasty -- it looked similar to those candy diamond rings you wear? You know the one you wear on your finger and can suck on? That was the size and shape of his.

So I'm standing up at the front of this tiny church, ready to get married, when all the bridesmaids roll in. I only have three - but in my dream there were seven. The other four were children of my sister's friends who I don't know. She said they wanted to be in a wedding so she told them it would likely be okay with me. As they were all walking up, I asked her, "Who are these people?" She said, "They're nice people. Are you not going to allow these nice people to be in your wedding???" They were also little Mexican girls who didn't speak English all of a sudden.

So I'm still standing there in my PJ's (thinking, everyone can see my panties...) And the preacher says, "I have to go. I sense bad spirits in the town, and I must go cast them away." Todd and I look at each other like, "WTF?" and my mom steps in and decides she will officiate. But she can't, because she's crying so much. But she tried. And I kept thinking, "Is this legal?"

I throw my hands in the air and say, "Just forget it. This is out of control." And I walked out.