Baby Got Back

I have junk in my trunk, people. Yes, I do literally have a bunch of junk in the back of my car, from moving, but I'm referring to the size of my ass here.

Growing up, I had none whatsoever. In high school, flat. No curves, no hiney. The flat ass is part of my heritage, my genes. Somehow, out of the blue, I catch a glimpse of myself walking by a mirror or something and realize, I have some junkage in the trunkage. This is not a good thing, peeps.