Luckey Girl

Tips

2006-04-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking that if we buy this house, we're going to place ourselves in a bit of a money pit. Too much stuff that *has* to be done, rather than things we just *want* to do. The offer is still on the table, negotiations are still being made, but we can walk away. And my gut says that we will.

So, tomorrow afternoon we are going back out with the realtor to look at more houses. Today, as I sit at my desk, digesting my lunch and pounding through a pile of miniature chocolate treats, I'm thinking about the dead animals I've seen in the homes we've seen so far.

As a general rule, I'd say that it's not a good idea to keep your stuffed dead birds, dead deer, dead raccoons, and zebra skin rug out for prospective home buyers to see. I'd go a step further and say that it's also probably not a good idea to keep all that live ammunition (bullets and the like) in your linen closet, for prospective home buyers to see. You know we're looking in your closets. You know we're walking through the house.

You just might consider that not everyone likes mounted dead animals. Put them in the garage, maybe, or under the bed. I mean, I doubt it will hurt the animals' feelings. No more than it did to shoot them, slaughter them, stuff them and mount them.

All I'm saying is that you have to consider your audience when you're trying to make a sell, you know? Todd and I, for example, will likely have to take down all of our Def Leppard and Tom Cruise posters when we sell our house. Just in case not everyone likes that type of thing.

Reality TV

2006-04-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Do networks actually have to hire actors anymore? Reality TV has taken over. I noticed this last night while scrolling through the TV schedule and thought to myself, "How interesting? They must be making tons of money now, now that they're just filming regular people in the privacy of their homes and bathrooms." Then I wondered why they don't want to come and film Todd, Jack, Lily and me? I mean, we're terribly interesting and live such exciting lives. Just this morning, I unloaded the dishwasher and told Jack he was a "bad boy!" for dragging the shit out of Lily's poo box. Then Lily vomited on the bathroom counter. This is quality stuff.

Now, I love me some Wife Swap, Biggest Loser, and Nanny 911. So I'm not complaining. I do wonder where in the hell they find those people, but...I'm just saying, what was on TV before reality TV, and why don't we miss it? Our obsession with other people's lives goes beyond buying trashy magazines to read up on the latest news about Britney, her husband and baby...we want to know about people just like us. We have to know. We have to Tivo.

We have to start reading more, that's what we have to do.

Casa Luckey

2006-04-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

We just put an offer on a house.

Assuming that all goes well, please get in touch with me if you can:
- build a fence
- paint the exterior of a house, repair the woodwork
- "gut" a bathroom shower and re-tile
- install a sprinkler system
- replace kitchen countertop tile that currently has tiny paintings of herbs on it
- rip up linoleum

Of course, we'll need all of this done, for free.

Keeping fingers crossed.

House Update

2006-04-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

The update is that there is no update. Spent several hours today with the realtor looking at houses, in people's pantries and at their toilets, and we didn't find anything.

We have found two great houses now, though, that have railroad tracks behind them. Nice.

Last week, because I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I created a spreadsheet that included an evaluation criteria and ranking system for the 17 houses that we wanted to look at this weekend. From this, I was able to statistically rank each house by location, "overall look and feel", price, size, price per square foot, etc. I felt really good after making this list, because I was able to rank the houses and make sure that, in the short timeframe we had today, we'd be able to see at least the top ten. Checked my email this afternoon before meeting the realtor and the top five houses were already under contract. Talk about a blow.

So I'm enjoying a glass of wine as I'm typing this. To take a little of the edge off.

Back to square one. Again.

You have to ask yourself, are you smart enough to be a parent?

2006-03-30T09:31:00.000-08:00

This is really an embarrassing story. So of course I'm going to post it online for the entire Internet population to enjoy.

I've taken three pregnancy tests in the last 24 hours. Not because I didn't trust the responses I was receiving, but because I am an idiot and can't follow simple, illustrated instructions. Illustrated.

The reason this is so strange to me -- I've given probably 100 urine pregnancy tests in my lifetime - to patients at the doctor's office where I worked in college. But these new ones, they're tricky. They've got newfangled, fancy digital readings of "pregnant" and "not pregnant". There's a whole "plug in the strip-make sure the arrows line up-look for the light to blink-wait 5 seconds for this-wait 15 seconds for that-make sure it's lying flat-put your left leg in the bathroom sink-roll toilet paper around your wrists" thing going on. When you're tired and dying from allergies, this is too much to handle!

Thank goodness I bought the box that contained three tests, or I would have run out of options the first or second time.

I think, that even if you aren't sexually active, if you've never even thought about sex, that taking a home pregnancy test is the most stressful thing in the world.

Never My Love

2006-03-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

I hear this song on the old 98.7 all the time, and every time it comes on, I remember how much I love it.

You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love
Never my love

You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love
Never my love

What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you...
Never my love
Never my love

You say you fear I'll change my mind
And I won't require you
Never my love
Never my love

How can you think love will end
When I've asked you to spend your whole life
With me...

Names and Spell Checker

2006-03-27T14:20:00.000-08:00

You're blessed today. Two posts from me in one day. I mean -- luck-y.

I need to say up front that what I'm going to type here, it's just an opinion. Your opinion might differ greatly from mine (and it likely does) so please don't be offended. Again, just my preference, my opinion. (I am obsessed with not offending, hence, not responding to my realtor's emails and calls all day today in case I choose to buy a townhome without her assistance.)

I like names that are traditional in nature. I like for a name to be spelled the way it has always been spelled, not throwing extra y's or vowels into it to give the name its own unique flavor. For some reason, this really gets to me. Grates on me, actually.

Does this mean I'm a conformist? God I hope not. I tend to buck the system in every other corner of the world around me, except when it comes to how names are spelled. (Notice I didn't say, "how you spell your name", because 99% of you likely didn't choose the spelling of your name, your parents did.)

Nice segue. So if you've had a name your entire life, you may not know that it's spelled differently than most. This never occurred to me until today. MY PARENTS SPELLED MY NAME IN A NON-CONFORMIST NAME SPELLING MANNER. Lauri. Not Lori, not Lauren, not Laurie. Just Lauri. Without the "e". I started noticing around my office that even though I've been here three years, some of the employees (my day to day co-workers) still spell my name with an E. Many of my clients do it. Vendors. My realtor. People who send me junk mail.

The reason I know that my name is spelled differently is because it's not spelled the way almost everyone assumes it is.

Of course, my thoughts on the spelling of someone's name always go back to the parents. I don't dislike Jynnifur because her parents misspelled her name. It's not her fault. I don't dislike a baby because his name is all jacked up, I just ask the parents what they were thinking when they signed the birth certificate? I mean, really?

So I've got Lauri. And now Luckey. A common word, with an "e" thrown into it. Perhaps I should take the "e" from the last name and attach it to the first, then I will be a normal girl. And people will spell it the right way, the first time.

Nah, I still think Lauri is normal; it's everyone else that's absurd.

I can't take it anymore.

2006-03-27T06:01:00.000-08:00

This home buying, home shopping, home inspecting, home searching...it's wearing me out. On Friday, we had pretty much narrowed down our choices to two homes -- one, a nice new home with tons of updates and a neat little backyard, everything perfect. The second, a friend's mother's home -- she is going into a nursing home and they're needing to sell the home quickly - a perfect "fixer-upper", great floorplan and great potential.

Home number one is near a railroad track. Well, the track is right behind the backyard fence. We went back to look at it yesterday and per the advice of our families, not a good idea, considering that if we had to sell it quickly for any reason we should be prepared for it to sit on the market for a while until someone else who doesn't mind trains comes along and takes it. It's really a great house - the lady who is selling it has done some really neat work on it. But, she can't rip up the train track and make it a great home in a great location.

Home number two. At first glance, perfect. We'd be able to get a great deal on it from our friend and go in and fix it up just how we like it...Until my cousin came to look at it yesterday and found that the stains on the carpet are actually coming up from the floor where there is clearly some major foundation issues. We can't have that, obviously.

So we're back to square one. The clock that's ticking for us is the apartment lease clock. We have to tell them by March 31 if we're going to renew or stay here - it's just not enough time.

Yesterday afternoon we stopped by a new development that is near Todd's parents' house that has "garden homes" (zero lot line) and townhomes. We'd never investigated this because we thought they were out of our price range, but after more research and looking at them, it seems that the townhomes might be an option. We're doing more research this week, but again, it will take some time for them to build the one we want. It'd be a great starter home - not an apartment, not a full-blown house. And it would have great re-sell value. Jack wouldn't get the yard we've been promising him, but he would have his own little patch of grass to go potty on.

So then there's the realtor dilemma. She's been helping us for a year, she's driven us around the metroplex searching for just the right home. If we go the townhome route, she won't get paid and won't be involved. I emailed her last night to let her know that we were looking into the townhomes and she responded asking if we'd still let her handle the transactions. We won't be able to, and this is really making my moral compass spin off the charts. I know that it's "just business" and that we have to do what's right for us. But I hate that she's worked so hard for us and is getting nothing. As a matter of fact, it makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Quite simply, I'm tired of throwing money away in rent. But I know that we've got to keep looking, that right now just isn't the right time. I am so preoccupied with all of it that I can barely sleep at night. If I fall asleep on the couch in the evenings, Todd just leaves me there, because waking me up means that I get in bed and stare at the ceiling all night. Last night was one of those nights, and this morning I woke up fully clothed under a blanket on the couch that he put on top of me. Poor guy, he's probably wondering what made him think it was a good idea to marry such a basketcase.

Dummies

2006-03-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

Todd and I are in the market for a new home. We know nothing about buying a home (or very little), so our friend Mary let us borrow her "Home Buying for Dummies" book. The book is very helpful and insightful, and while we don't have time to read it cover to cover, it's been a great resource.

This weekend, while we were looking at houses with our realtor, in one particular house Todd returned from looking at one bedroom while I was in another, and in his hand he had a book he'd found on their nightstand..."Home Selling for Dummies".

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2006-03-17T07:09:00.000-08:00

This is the first time in years that I've planned my outfit for a holiday. I've got on some green beads from Mardi Gras, a green cordouroy jacket, and green flip flops. Also, Todd and I have cool green hats, but they're not comfortable to wear unless you've got a few green beers in ya.

Have a good one!

Cottage cheese, hail damage, mattress syndrome, orange peel skin, dimples

2006-03-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

The backs of my thighs are really beautiful. They have a contour and terrain that is specific and unique only to me. I love them.

What I don't understand is...I've had this problem with cellulite since I was around 105 pounds. It's always been there. I know it's hereditary. I'll always have it. But the strange thing is that as my thighs grow, the cellulite seems to change its form. Where it used to be some minor "hail damage" that actually looked worse, spread around...Now it's more like a "dent" here and there. Like all the little hail damage spots came together and formed one big dent that needs to be popped out by an auto-body specialist.

I spent some time this weekend looking at my naked, 30 year-old body in the mirror.

2006-03-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

Uhh...the lease on our apartment is up at the end of May. I thought it was in June, or July... This means we have to give notice that we're leaving our apartment by the end of March. That's this month.

I need a brown paper bag.

Birfday.

2006-03-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of a lovely bouquet of tulips that my husband sent me today for my birthday. They are beautiful!

Then as soon as I finished reading the card that came with the tulips, there was another call from the front desk. My family sent me the coolest, most unique delivery I've ever received - an edible arrangement! It's a basket full of freshly cut fruit and chocolate covered strawberries, made into a beautiful bouquet! I would take a picture of it, too, but I had to put it in the fridge so that Todd and I can enjoy it tonight.

There is one thing I love about my birthday - it's a sign that spring is coming...tulips are blooming, the temperatures are warming up. I love it.

Everyone I've talked to about turning 30 says that she loved her thirties much more than her 20's. I think I'm going to agree. I'm not even 30 yet (not until tomorrow!) but am already loving it.

Elizabethtown

2006-03-01T04:37:00.000-08:00

We watched "Elizabethtown" this weekend, and were surprised that we liked it. (Well, I say we, but I was the one who really liked it.) First, I really think it has a great soundtrack, I'm going to have to check it out for sure. But second, I likely identified with tje movie on a level that most can't, given that I've been driving around with my dad's ashes in my car for months.

Update: I checked iTunes - the soundtrack is so good there are two volumes to buy! The one song I remember liking from the movie is "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams. Other good ones: "Loro" by Pinback, "Same in any Language" by My Morning Jacket and Ruckus, and "io(This Time Around)" by Helen Stellar. I love soundtracks.

It's come to this.

2006-02-28T06:05:00.000-08:00

I have no time to make posts here anymore. Work is consuming me. I keep telling myself that if I just took two weeks to work 12-14 hours a day, I could get ahead of things and be in a good place. Then another trip gets booked...and I'm five more days behind...I'm at the end of my rope here at work. I've even told my boss this, I'm looking. Feels a little too much like it felt at my last job before I finally had to throw in the towel.

So I'm going to just list some random things I've been thinking about lately...
- Why do Brad and Angelina and Maddox always wear black? Seems the little Zahara has some color in her wardrobe, but otherwise, they're always in black. Maybe it's easier to pack and travel that way - I know I certainly keep things simple in terms of color and style when I travel, perhaps this is what they do as well?
- Pink has this new song out about "stupid girls", and while I'm not a huge fan of hers, the lyrics and video for this song really crack me up. I like it.
- I'm going to be thirty (30) this weekend. I didn't even realize this until I booked a meeting yesterday and it hit me that February is almost over...the sure sign that (a) it's getting a little warmer and (b) I should have about 5 kids by now.
- I realized yesterday that I've been so busy that I've not taken five minutes to sit down and talk to one of my new employees. I mean, how awful is that? I've said "Hi"...once. He's been here a week.
- Last night we made this delicious chicken with asparagus and pine nuts recipe. Everything turned out grand, but we burned the hell out of the pine nuts. I spent about 20 minutes digging through an oily mixture of shallots, garlic, and tarragon to pull each and every black roasted nut out so that we could enjoy the meal. This was really good for my current stress situation.
- My dog is so dirty and his toenails are so long, I've been neglecting him physically. This doesn't keep me from loving on him, cuddling with him and keeping him in shape emotionally, but I've never let it go this far. He doesn't seem to care, though.

Have a good day, people. Pray that I don't snap and burn this place down over the next couple of weeks. Sometimes, when I get home and realize that I left my floor heater on under my desk...I don't stress too much, I cross my fingers.

B and his bike...

2006-02-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Do you remember where you were when you learned how to ride your bike without training wheels? My sweet nephew called us last night to give us the big news and explain in detail the thrill of it:

"At first I was a little scared and was going fast then I got happy and it was fun. And Jake can ride his, too."

Sweet thing. CONGRATULATIONS, BAILEY BUG! I LOVE YOU!

A little of this, a little of that.

2006-02-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

Work is awful right now. Just awful.

And then this week I turned down an opportunity for Todd and I to pack our things, sell our shit and relocate to Costa Rica. I am clearly deranged.

We had a great Valentine's Day. Todd got a new pair of shoes (extremely romantic gift), we both got some concert tickets, and I've eaten at least seven full pounds of chocolate. That someone else gave someone else. Or that I gave someone. None of it was actually mine.

I've been having those mornings lately where it's hard to get out of bed and even harder to get out of the funk mood that is hanging over me as I walk from our bed to the bathroom. I can't put my finger on what is wrong because it would take about 24 fingers to do it.

Today, for breakfast, I had two potato and egg taquitos and a small coke from Whataburger. I skipped lunch because I was so miserable from the breakfast feast, and then snacked on some popcorn and another small coke a few minutes ago. Now, my stomach hates me for the junk I've given it today. It's seeking revenge. Plotting its destruction.

Poor Pam.

2006-02-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

Todd's a love genius. A gift genius.

Last week on "The Office", Pam's fiancee didn't give her anything for Valentine's Day and offered up "the best sex she'd ever had" as his gift to her. (Since Pam is the receptionist at The Office, all day long she had to walk flowers, gifts, candies, life-sized teddy bears and balloons to her co-worker's desk and was disgruntled by the time her fiancee came to take her home.)

We're taking a class on Tuesday nights, so we celebrated our Valentine's Day last night. Todd gave me David Gray tickets, the DVD "The Constant Gardener", the sweetest card (he's very good at giving those) and the most beautiful bouquet of flowers containing my favorite, the calla lilies.

Today, a dozen red roses were delivered to my desk with a card that read, "To My Valentine, I didn't want you to feel like Pam today. Love, Todd"

He's so damned cute and funny and sweet that I can't stand it.

A year ago today...

2006-02-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

I love my husband.

Update

2006-02-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

The Mutha is fine. I think she gets to come home today. And she did vomick. Although Sam said that he was not an actual witness to the event, so right now we're still considering it unconfirmed.

I wonder how much the appendix weighs? I'm thinking it could be the key to those last few pounds that I'm wanting to rid myself of...Of course, I know this is irrational.

The Mutha is a statistic.

2006-02-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

I know I just made a post about my childhood ailments, how my mom reacted when we seemed the least bit "off" and how she couldn't stand being sick or around others who are sick. Well tonight she is in the hospital recovering from an emergency appendectomy.

Apparently in the US, 1 in 15 people will get appendicitis. In case you're wondering, "Just what is the appendix and where is it?" I've posted a picture below for your reference.

It's just a tiny 3 1/2 inch thing. No one is for sure why we have it. But 1 in 15 of you guys will need it removed at some time in your life? Why not just take it out as routine prevention or something?

I'm not so worried about whether or not Mom will recover...I know that she will, it's a routine surgery. What comes with routine surgeries? Anesthesia. What oftentimes happens as you're coming out of the anesthesia? Vomicking. Oh, Lord, please give those recovery room nurses the patience to deal with the vomicking woman who could, prior to this visit, count on one hand how many times in her entire life she's vomicked.

Quickie

2006-02-07T07:56:00.000-08:00

One day, I side-swiped a concrete pillar in my parking garage because I had turned the radio up pretty loud to listen to Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter. I was distracted by the song and not paying attention. This morning, I was nearly side-swiped by a large 18-wheeler while I was listening to Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter on the radio. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I've not made a post in a while because I've been too busy. I have a little too much to do at work today to be making this short post, but I felt the need to write a little something.

Back to work.

On the mend.

2006-01-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

Health care is ridiculously expensive. I took Todd to the doctor yesterday, as he was still getting sick and quite honestly, I was wondering if he was contagious. The nurse came in and asked all the questions...Achy? Yes. Fever? Yes, 102 degrees. Nausea and vomiting? Yes, 6 times in the last 24 hours. Headache? Yes. Fatigue? Yes. So I mentioned to her on her way out that he hadn't had a flu shot this year. She said, "Oh, that doesn't matter, he doesn't show any signs of flu." WTF? Even I know that everything listed above is a list of classic flu symptoms.

So the doctor comes in, asks the same 20 questions. She's convinced he has the flu. She tells us there's a test to see if it's flu, and that it will cost around $40, would we like to take it? Sure. She swabbed his nostrils and came back 15 minutes to tell us the test came back negative, but that she still wasn't convinced it wasn't the flu, maybe it was just too early to tell.

So she starts asking all kinds of other questions to determine if he has meningitis and a whole list of other things that might present themselves with flu-like symptoms. All negative. As she's going through this, his nausea is getting worse and worse, so she, of course, suggests a shot of Phenergan to stop the nausea. I asked if we could have a prescription for some pills to have on hand at home and she suggested we do the shot and the pills. "How much is the shot?" "Well, $16 to administer it and another $30 or so for the shot." Sure. Go ahead.

Turns out the shot was the best thing he got out of that visit - it knocked him out and allowed him to sleep for about 15 hours straight, no more nausea. After paying $241 for the visit and all that, she sent us on our way with a prescription for Tamiflu since she was convinced it was the flu. "If you are not better by tomorrow, you must get this filled and take it immediately. If you keep vomicking (she said vomiting, of course) you must go to the ER for fluids. If your neck stiffens and begins to hurt, go to the ER immediately. And, yes, this is contagious." Great.

I took Todd home and headed to the pharmacy to get the prescriptions filled. The Phenergan was only $3.06. The Tamiflu was NINETY DOLLARS. I left that Tamiflu with the Walgreens people, came home and told Todd that we'd fill that one today if he really was not feeling any better.

We are young and healthy, and don't require a lot of health care or prescription drugs. Maybe twice a year we have to do something like this. I just can't imagine what our older population has to endure when it comes to the cost of health care. The Tamiflu was an optional drug for Todd, unlike many seniors who must take blood pressure medication, blood thinners, cholesterol meds, etc. I could have stuck that syringe in his (very nice) butt muscle and saved us $16. Perhaps we should take the care of our bodies and minds into our own hands...Of course, I can't get my hands on a shot of Phenergan that quickly or easily, but man, did it make him feel better.

My Life with Vomick

2006-01-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to talk about any details of upchucking here, but I do need to address some things.

My poor husband was up all night with some sort of stomach bug, flu or parasite eel swimming through his intestines. This morning I woke him up and gave him some medicine and tried to make him drink some fluids...He just looked awful, like he felt terrible. I decided to go into the office to get my laptop and some work I can do from home so that I could stay with him and take care of him. There's no way he can get off the couch and he needs his fluids. After all, I may not be a doctor, but I play one at home.

So on my way to the office I was thinking about my life experiences with vomicking. (My sister, who is a paramedic and firefighter, changed "vomit" to "vomick" in our family's vocabulary once she'd received over a hundred calls from people who were violently VOMICKING.)

It all starts with my mom and her morbid fear of it. As children, if it was time to vomick, it was time for my mother to run out the front door screaming, arms flailing, down the street barefoot, and then for her to pick up the phone to call her friend Ann to come over and care for us. Once Dad got home, it was his shift.

In the middle of the night, if we were to wake up and feel vomicky, we yelled for Dad. If mom woke up first, you could hear her in their bedroom, shaking my father awake, "John, get up. One of the kids is sick...GET OUT OF BED AND TAKE CARE OF HER!"

I don't know if it was her fear of the vomicking that rubbed off on us, or if it's hereditary, but once I was old enough to realize that the world stopped when you were nauseated, I became equally as scared. Only my fear took on different shapes and forms. I wouldn't get out of the safety of my own bed to vomick. If I was sick, I simply yelled for my dad to bring me a receptacle to vomick INTO, and if he didn't make it on time, he had a hell of a mess to clean up. Dad cleaning, and mom standing a safe distance away, making a mask with her hands cupped over her face, asking me why in the hell I couldn't just "do it" in a toilet like most normal people do.

But I couldn't. It wasn't until I was in college that I started even taking myself near the bathroom to do it. I can remember after one particular night of drinking, waking up in the middle of the night, Dad not being a couple doors down, and walking into the bathroom of my apartment (that I shared with two other girls) to "make it happen." I couldn't bring myself to put my face that close to where a butt goes to do it...So I did it in the sink. The next morning my roommates were giving me the silent treatment (I'd apparently left a mess that they cleaned up for me, YAY!) and I realized a couple of things...(1) given that I hate to vomick so badly, drinking excessively was probably not a life pattern I wanted to shape for myself and (2) it was time for me to belly up to the commode and vomick like everyone else.

So I learned to do it, and to keep every toilet in my apartment as sparkling clean as possible. Just in case.

My brother and I have a couple of things in common when it comes to being nauseated...First, no talking. If people talk to us, we feel as though their words are physically pulling the sickness out of us like a well pulley. We also feel, and have strong convictions about the fact that we can distract ourselves from it completely. I can't tell you how many books, magazines or phone books I've read for the sole purpose of distracting myself from getting sick. "This will not happen. This will not happen. This will not happen, I am not sick. I am not sick. I am not sick." It works.

I wondered this morning, on my way home from the store, if other people have laid in bed and prayed to their God to take their lives, let them fall asleep and never wake up, just so that the sickness will go away? For me, death seems so much more bearable than to vomick. Of course, a couple days later I'm always thanking God for fast food and for leaving me here to get past it. And for "Grey's Anatomy", I thank Him for that sometimes, too.

As sweet Todd lies in the next room recovering from his bout with The Vomick right now...I'm wondering if he has any idea what's in store for him...If he has given me the bug that he has...

PS - After reading back over this I thought it necessary to mention, if I haven't in this forum already, that my mother is a very caring and nurturing mother. It was only in the vomick situation that she would hand the reigns over to our father to take care of us. Even today my brother can torture her by simulating a gag with sounds from his throat that will make her almost lose it.

It's Friday, thank you Jesus.

2006-01-20T15:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week. I have two, possibly three work trips in February. I'm not one of those people who is a fan of traveling for work, it makes me anxious. Not the flying, but the work that's NOT getting done as I'm going from parking garage to terminal to cab to hotel to hospital to lunch to terminal to parking garage to home. My list of things "not done yet" keeps growing.

I finally hired a new employee, who I like very much. I'm sure he's loving his job, considering that I've not had enough time to sit down with him and give him actual work to do. I did give him something yesterday, something that I thought required quite a bit of explanation. I thought this because I've explained it to 3-4 other people and they've never quite gotten it. New guy picked it up instantly and delivered something back to me 5 days early. He's a keeper. Looking for another one of him.

I'm excited to start the weekend. Todd's on his way home and is stopping to get some wine, as I feel that I need it tonight. We're going to make dinner and do a lot of nothing, as he has to be at work tomorrow at 7:00 am. When he works on Saturdays, I get to spend time alone cleaning our apartment. I get very excited about this.

I hope you've all survived the week and have the exact type of weekend you're wanting.

Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

2006-01-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

Last night at our youth group meeting, one of the kids mentioned that he saw Chuck Norris at a movie theater last weekend. This turned into a very long line of Chuck Norris jokes which have carried over into today in the form of emails bouncing back and forth among the adult leadership of the group.

It's getting out of control. And they are funny. Check some of them out here.

Jack Dragon Luckey

2006-01-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

This used to be my baby.

This was, of course, when Jack WAS a baby. I fell in love with Jack instantly. The maternal instincts took over and I had no clue how to do anything but nurture him and love him. I couldn't even punish him, really. Todd certainly liked Jack, but he always wanted a bigger dog and it took some time for him to warm up to him.

Jack has always followed me around, slept with me, smothered me with puppy kisses...But that's starting to go away. He loves Todd. And, Todd loves him, of course. But I think he loves Todd more than me. He stares at Todd, or rather, he looks at him longingly...He gets extremely excited when I ask him in the mornings "Where's Daddy?" and he looks toward the bathroom and waits for Todd to get out of the shower. He cries when he leaves.

The reason he loves Todd so much is because Todd plays rough with him. Well, he loves Todd because Todd's a great guy, but otherwise, it's because Todd throws pillows at him and pushes him around. All this time, I've discouraged it because I didn't want Jack to get hurt. Now, I see that he really loves it.

I guess I just always wanted him to be a mama's boy. And he still is, to some extent. God help me when we have children.

2006-01-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

The night before last I dreamed that I was painting Jack with white shoe polish. He already had white fur...but in my dream the more I painted him, the darker he got.

I'm slammed at work. I've lost 0.2 pounds since the new year, am I seriously supposed to be excited about that? I'm not gaining, at least.

Happy day.

Face to Face with Me

2006-01-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

I woke up yesterday morning and had no idea where I was. In reality, I was in a Chicago suburb hotel room bed, but when I opened my eyes and sat up it took me a good minute or so to figure it all out. When I did, I instantly realized that I’d been having the strangest dream I’ve ever had, ever.

When I woke up, I’d just been talking to myself. Literally, me. Except it was me at 18. In my dream I went back to my hometown to escape an arranged marriage to an African tribesman. (That may sound like the strange part, but that part of the dream didn’t surprise me, since I’d read about a woman who married an African tribesman in a magazine on the plane trip to Chicago). Once I got to my hometown, though, it was my hometown as it was almost 12 years ago. I walked into an auditorium where there was a post-high school graduation program going on…I sat down in the front row for some reason, and instead of watching what was happening on the stage, I turned my body around in the chair and looked over the audience to find myself.

The auditorium was full of people, but I found myself (my 18 year-old self) immediately. I was sitting next to my mother, and my girlfriends from high school were sitting behind me. I watched for quite a while. I watched how I interacted with everyone, and I spent quite a bit of time getting a “read” from myself from the different facial expressions and types of laughter I was projecting.

As I sat there and watched me, I thought about the types of things I would tell myself, when I finally approached her. How could I talk to her without scaring her? What could I say, or more importantly, what should I not say so that when I returned back to 2006 my life would not be altered in any way? I decided I shouldn’t say much.

So I walked up to the back of the auditorium and took the seat in front of her. She’d been sitting there giggling with her friends and talking about leaving for college and getting out of town as soon as she could. For some reason, my mother sitting next to me (or her) didn’t even notice when I sat down. The younger me did, and was almost speechless. I tried to explain how I got there, but even I didn’t know. The girlfriends commented about how “neat” and strange it was that I was there, then they left us to our conversation.

The strange thing is, all I could do was look at her at first. I reached up and touched her face and told her what beautiful skin she had...Explained to her how important it was to take care of it. She asked me how old I was, I told her almost 30...Then I immediately let her know that I was recently married to a wonderful man. I didn’t tell her how Todd and I met, or what his name was...I couldn’t have her going out and joining every mission trip to Mexico or lying in bed at night wondering if the “Todd” she met that day was “the” Todd. After all, I know that she is obsessive-compulsive.

She had a hard time looking at me. Not because she thought I’d (she’d) grown into some mammoth ugly person, but because it made her extremely nervous. I couldn’t stop staring at her, though. “So THIS is what it will look like when I lose ten pounds…” is what I was thinking to myself. And, “Thank God I never colored my hair. It looks as healthy as it did back then!” But as I sat with her I just died because of all the things I wanted to tell her NOT to do. All of my regrets...I couldn’t tell her that Dad was gone. I couldn’t tell her about the guys she REALLY, REALLY needed to stay away from. I couldn’t tell her about good or bad job decisions, or that she shouldn’t waste that semester of nursing pre-requisite classes because she’d eventually graduate with a degree in Political Science. I couldn’t tell her that her heart was going to break, break, break to pieces and that it would be her own fault. I couldn’t tell her not to date and live with that one guy, because his addictions and issues would make her suffer, even into her very happy marriage.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the dream. Why did I have it? Is it because I turn 30 in just a couple short months, and that while I’ve been telling everyone that 30 doesn’t bother me, I’ve been subconsciously examining my life for the past couple of months? Why was it so real? I’ve had those “real” dreams...But this was different. My world felt like it was turned upside down when I woke up and all I wanted to do was fall back asleep and keep the dream going.

But I didn’t. I tossed and turned and got up before the alarm, before the wake up call. I soaked in the bathtub for a little while in silence, with my thoughts. I was glad for the dream. And all I can think of now is, what is the 40 year-old Lauri wanting to tell me?

Little Things

2006-01-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

I remembered one of the things, very early in my relationship with Todd, that made me fall in love with him. You know how it's never one big thing, it's just a bunch of little things that all flutter up together into one big, nice love thing.

He picks up his trash at the movie theater...Sometimes even other people's trash as he's leaving the aisle.

2006-01-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

I know that I said I was going to stop complaining...But this is getting out of control. I mean, REALLY out of control. Since Tuesday, I have spent virtually all of my waking hours (those not spent cooking, eating, showering, or using the restroom) either on the phone, in the car driving to a government office which is too far away, waiting in a waiting room, talking with a bank or other credit-like agency, working with my HR department to get new insurance and direct deposit, getting a new phone and all that involves...I mean, it doesn't stop.

But it's the weekend. And while I'm usually very excited about that, I know that I will spend most of it working...Doing work that I didn't get to this week because I was doing all of the above things during normal business hours.

Next week is busy for me, I have to travel for two days and I have a new employee starting. Also, it's my boss' 50th birthday and it can't go by without some sort of damage to his office...He is literally begging us to do something, but not asking.

Also, I started a new diet. It's not so much a diet as it is eating better and healthier. Not really a resolution, either...Well it's a lot of things. Staying on it is very difficult when you're stressed. Very difficult. Yesterday, I left work early to go to the bank to close my accounts...This took a good hour and a half. I get home a little earlier than usual, before Todd got home. I started cooking something for dinner, something on "the diet" and when Todd does get home he tells me that he'd made reservations for a very nice dinner for us last night, as a surprise, to help relieve some of my stress. The meal was already made, so we just stayed home. It's the thought that counts. Sweet man. I have a sweet man, sweet dog, sweet cat and great friends and family. I've got so much to be thankful for, but I'm still very angry about the stupid purse snatching.

Breathing in...And out.......

Theft Recon Update

2006-01-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I spent my whole afternoon trying to get my life back in order after the THEFT. I drove 35 minutes to the driver's license office. Unfortunately, my file there was flagged with an alarm because the name on my social security card didn't match the name change on my driver's license back in September, after we got married. They gave me directions to the closest (I use that word loosely) social security office, in Grand Prairie. On the way there, I almost hit my breaking point when, while driving on the two lane road there, I got stuck behind (1) the mailman, (2) the trash man, and then (3) the school bus. When I did finally get there, I walked into what seemed like an auditorium of people...I took my number (#160) and listened to the intercom system as the lady called #75.

I waited three hours to see a representative from the social security office. Thankfully, he was very nice and very helpful, very understanding. He made all the necessary changes and sent me on my way with the one sheet of paper (something I could have typed myself) that the driver's license office needed to issue me a duplicate/replacement license.

When I got back to the driver's license office (another 45 minute drive) they barely looked at the sheet I presented...The sheet I had waited three hours for...But they got me all fixed in the system and ordered me a new license, so I didn't complain.

My cell phone carrier has been Sprint for the past few years. Some friends and I all converted to Sprint when we got our picture phones and learned how to text message. Todd also used Sprint, so we were able to take advantage of the "PCS to PCS" calling for free. Now...I've not had much luck with Sprint in the past. Their customer service SUCKS, and if you notice...When you go into their stores they're always crowded with customers (if you listen closely, ANGRY customers) and the counter is stocked with cocky sales guys who make sure you know that they know more than you, and are not in the least bit helpful. When I went in yesterday to get a phone, let them know mine was stolen, they were NO HELP AT ALL. I didn't expect them to be sympathetic (which they WEREN'T), their basic attitude walked my butt right out of there, they lost the LB as a customer.

So I drove down to Cingular and got the greatest deal on a "family plan" for both Todd and me, and got a pretty good deal on some phones. Sure, the phones aren't as fancy as the ones we had before...But why have a fancy phone when it's just going to get stolen from your purse at Wal-Mart?

I understand that in a person's lifetime, they likely only have to visit the social security office or the driver's license office a handful of times. But WHY...WHY are they the least efficient places in the world? Maybe I should be thankful, given the THEFT I just experienced, that it's necessary to have REAL PIECES OF PAPER to make things happen there. I didn't understand why I couldn't request another license online...Or why I couldn't handle my situation with the social security office on the phone or online. And don't even THINK about calling them - after you get through all the prompts, they'll tell you that you need to call back, they're too busy.

I'm tired of being bitchy. I'm tired of not sleeping at night. I'm just tired. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Starting off the New Year with a kick...in the face.

2006-01-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

I am usually a very positive person...I try to see the "bright" side of things, life's little hurdles rarely get me down. But today I am down. I am furious with mankind, I am extremely disappointed.

It all starts with me. Some of my issues are about my control, and loss of it. But mostly I am to blame for my issue today. I left my purse in my shopping cart at Wal-Mart for only a few minutes, and it was stolen. I drove off, realized it was gone, went right back to it, and it was gone. Something told me that it wouldn't be there, and that it wouldn't be turned in to customer service, that no one would be calling me to let me know they'd seen it, picked it up, and wanted to meet me at a Starbucks to deliver it to me. I just knew. And that's what makes me the most upset, that I knew that I was screwed. I never think that way, I try not to "think the worst".

I think some of my attitude comes from being at Wal-Mart when it happened. I hate that place. It is convenient for me for quick shopping, but I hate it. Maybe I'm looking for someone to blame right now, but I don't think that I'll go back there for awhile.

So it's all gone...My purse and wallet, my cell phone (and therefore every phone number that I can't recall because it's IN that phone), my credit cards, my checks, my social security card, my driver's license...Even some of the gift cards we got for Christmas, gone. Stamps. Health insurance cards.

I'm stressed right now because I have to travel to Chicago next week and I know that it will be difficult without a driver's license. I have a passport, but of course, it has my maiden name on it...There are so many other things wrong right now that I can't even write here because I'm already paranoid to the point of gnawing off all my fingernails about identity theft.

So I will spend my afternoon driving around, without a license or proof of insurance (that reminds me, another call to make), trying to put my life and identity back together. Hopefully the person just wanted the phone, maybe some stamps. Maybe they won't use my information for evil. Right now I can't even consider anything better than the worst.

Jack the Farm Dog

2005-12-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe Christmas is over...It's this way every year, it comes and goes so fast, I look up and can't believe it's almost New Year's Eve, once again. We had a wonderful Christmas. I think the most exciting event was getting to see my 16 year old cousin walk into the front yard to find her first car, complete with a red ribbon on top. I can remember being her age, and wishing for that car with a ribbon on it. Not many kids get this kind of treat on Christmas day, and she knows she's a lucky girl. It made me feel like I was 16 again, so that was good.

Otherwise, we spent the last several days with our families, traveling to and fro, enjoying all of it. In my hometown we played games, ate, watched movies, just enjoyed the "quiet". We even went to a friend's farm/ranch (not sure of the difference) where we let Jack off the leash and he ran directly into a huge pasture full of cows. They ran all around him, while I stood very still outside the gate, holding my chest and bracing myself for a heart attack. He also made his way into a field where they had 20-25 goats of all different colors, ages and sizes. One tried to "buck" him with her horns, again, near heart attack action for me. Now he smells like a farm dog and is in need of a good bath. I don't think my car will ever smell the same again. Jack and I are just city folk - the time in the country is fun, but I do like for him to smell good. :)

We got back into town today, and Todd and I had planned to go to a concert tonight, but I'm not sure we've got it in us to make it back out again...Being home feels nice, even if we did arrive to a strange smell in the apartment that I've not yet figured out where it's coming from...Why I'm so sensitive to bad smells, I do not know. But it's making me a little crazy.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and for those of you in this area of Texas, I hope you enjoyed Christmas in your shorts and flip flops. Nice weather.

Christmas Eve?

2005-12-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

The high today is 66. It's 63 degrees outside right now. While this is perfect weather to me, it certainly doesn't feel like Christmas!

Have a very merry one.

My brother and husband are emailing about gorilla penises, and people say that I am weird.

2005-12-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

My tummy hurts a little bit. It could be because I ate chips and queso (with meat) for breakfast. It was cooking in a crock pot on a table with all kinds of food (it was the closest thing to a breakfast-like meal, I think the meat in it was sausage), and I couldn't handle the smell any longer. I got a bowl. And some chips. Why didn't I just eat my Marshmallow Matey's (store brand Lucky Charms) this morning? Because I slept too late, that's why.

Seriously, I think I already have indigestion. Jesus.

Just found out I have to travel to Chicago in January. I'm sitting here with my floor heater on because the temperature in my office is too cold for me. I'm daydreaming about hot summers and water - water that can't be skated on while wearing shoes with blades on them. Chicago. Freezing.

Today is my last day at work for a little while...Of course, I'll still be working at home non-stop, when I'm not out spending money that I don't have. But still, it will be nice not to have to come in and sit in front of a computer all day long. A couple days last week I had no meetings and literally sat in front of the computer all day. By end of day, my eyes were bloodshot, burning and watering so badly that I was reminded that my tear ducts do, in fact, work. I need a little less of that this holiday season, so I'm glad to get away from it for a bit.

We have plans for New Year's - we're going to a hockey game with some friends. Those are Real Plans and I've not had any of those for New Year's in years. It will be lots of fun, I'm looking forward to it.

Happy Thursday.

2005-12-21T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of wrapping.

Weekend Update

2005-12-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

I had a very good weekend. Todd and I went to see "The Family Stone" on Friday night, and it was worth waiting for (I'd been counting down the days till opening). I loved it. Even shed a tear or two. Go see it.

Saturday we cleaned the apartment (we seem to always be doing this) and Todd spent the day helping our priest get a Christmas tree for his family and pick up a large gift for his kids - he broke his ankle at one of their softball games and is on crutches. Todd views any kind of heavy lifting as an extra opportunity to burn calories, so he was excited to help. I worked on some appetizers that I was taking to a Christmas party that evening at Vincent's house. As always, we had a great time there. Except, Todd and I lost at Pictionary. We never lose that game. I'm blaming it on the alcohol and dim lighting. That has to be it.

Sunday we took the youth group kids to see "Narnia" and again, a really good movie. This Sunday was also our annual trip to the shelter downtown to hand out sandwiches and hot meals, along with a bag full of socks and travel-sized toiletries. While I do make sandwiches all year long, I only make the trip to the shelter once a year. I decided this year that I need to go more often. To help, of course, but selfishly, the perspective it gives me is something I desperately need. Earlier this week I was upset about the smell of poop in the work restroom, for example.

Todd and I are off work today, except that I have to go in for a couple of hours for a meeting...After that we're going to try to wrap up our Christmas shopping. Oh, joy. I hope that you all have a wonderful week!

Clearly, there's a problem here.

2005-12-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

I'm drinking more (water, cokes, and the such). Pair that up with the long hours I'm putting in at the office lately, I am forced to use the work bathroom from time to time. I simply cannot wait until I get home anymore.

I hate HATE HATE HATE it when I go into the bathroom and...
a. someone's also in the bathroom, going #1
b. that someone is talking to me
c. someone is in a stall going #2
d. Jesus, if that person is talking to me I have to reverse my direction into the stall and commence vomiting.
e. the #2 person walks out and leaves me as the guilty party, should anyone else come in, or
f. that person walks out of the stall with reading material
g. #1 or #2 don't wash her hands -- at all -- or just the water sprinkle before exiting the bathroom.
h. I walk in and someone has just gone #2, leaving me unable to breathe for however long it takes me to get OUT

As I sit here typing, I'm thinking of all the other things I hate about using public restrooms. I am obsessed with it. Not just passing thoughts or pondering, I am OBSESSED. It consumes me. I sit at my desk and wait, wait, wait until I can't wait any longer. Then I have to start the counting, and head down there.

It doesn't help things that, as I've mentioned before, women (women!) have left #2 on the floor in our bathroom on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. I can't fathom it. I can't deal with it. This is reason enough to work from home permanently.

I should mention, that strangely enough, it doesn't bother me if my friend (and co-worker) Mary talks to me while we're in the bathroom. She could start talking about cooking up some split pea soup and it wouldn't bother me in the least. This is all I know.

Happy Holidays

2005-12-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

WHY PEPPERMINT BARK? WHY!?!?!?????????

As you might have seen from the photos this weekend, I did a little decorating in the apartment for the holidays. Very uncharacteristic for me, but I had the tools and went to work on it, and I'm happy with it. What you can't see in those pictures is the string of white lights I've also got on the patio. I mean, I went all out this year.

I'm so busy at work right now that I don't know where to begin...I really, really am frustrated about it. Also my gums hurt.

Ice, Ice Baby

2005-12-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

There was a little ice on the streets last night so the entire DFW Metroplex has completely shut down. I had planned on working from home today anyway, but kids are out of school, offices closed...It's crazy. I guess "better safe than sorry".

I have about four days worth of "catch up" work. I've been so busy at the office lately and sitting in an all day meeting yesterday didn't help matters much. They want us to achieve the impossible in the last 16 working days of the year...I suppose this happens every December. This year seems worse for some reason. I'm feeling a little uneasy and antsy about work lately, and I hate that it keeps me up at night...

Artificial Intelligence

2005-12-05T14:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've already seen this today. If not, burn away some of those work minutes with it.

I work hard for the money.

2005-12-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

I am usually overwhelmed with stress at work. I bring it on myself, I'm completely aware of that fact. I put too much personal energy and focus on the goings-on here at the office -- on whether or not my clients are happy or if one of my vendors screws up, if my own company can't pull its weight in making my clients happy.

I know when it's a high stress time because my face breaks out and I don't sleep well at all. That pretty much describes my life for the past couple of weeks.

I can say this, though...I am getting better and better about putting work stuff into perspective. Saying, "It's just a Web site...Not brain surgery" or "This is not the end of the world" or "They won't remember this next year this time" is getting easier and easier for me. My perfectionism makes me a good employee, I know this. My company values me, I know this.

But this job is not what defines me...I'm thinking of typing that up, printing it, cutting it out, and taping that to the driver's-side sun visor in my car. We all need to hear that from time to time, again and again.

Dreaming

2005-12-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

If you've read this blog for any period of time, you know that I am a dreamer. Not a wishing on stars type of dreamer, I have very vivid dreams when I sleep. I remember most of them, and used to keep a dream journal, I found them so interesting. I don't have time for that anymore, so now I just wake up and tell Todd about them and hope he can recall them upon command in a few years.

The strange thing is, I have awful dreams about Todd from time to time. This has been happening since we got married. I know this sounds disgusting to some of you, but Todd and I really have what I would consider to be a *perfect* relationship. Call it newlywed syndrome...Call it what you want. But we don't argue. It's not in our nature to argue, really. Not with each other, not with other people. A healthy debate is another thing altogether. And I'm not naive enough to think that we won't ever argue, or that we'll never disagree on things. I'm just saying, the Todd I know is not the Todd I dream about.

So I think that sub-consciously, I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall with Todd. I have to tell you, for those of you who don't know, I've not had the best track record with relationships. I could write a best seller on the situations I've put myself in, the types of men I've dated (or "not-so-dated"), the shit I put up with. This is not to say that I haven't had some good ones, because I have. You always know the good ones when you still keep in touch with them, you're able to maintain a friendship when it's done, with nothing hanging over your heads. At least in the Dictionary of Lauri, that's what a "good one" means. I should also mention that I have very few regrets with the not-so-good ones. I learned from them. I'm better because of them. I raised my standards each time, I got bruised and broken and became stronger from putting myself back together. Without them, I wouldn't realize just how wonderful Todd is.

Anyway, I wake up so disturbed by these dreams. Todd hates it because for the first hour of the morning, I'm avoiding eye contact and giving him the cold shoulder...The dreams are so real that I have to "shake" the things he's done in the dream when I wake up or they'll haunt me all day.

I think I need hypnotherapy or something. Todd has great dreams about us. A day could pass where he does the sweetest things for me, says all the right things (and means them), and I lie down with a smile on my face and a song in my heart that says, THANK YOU JESUS FOR THIS MAN! Then I fall asleep and he's taken on a terrible drug habit, or he's a pathological liar. I just don't see how it works.

I dream that I'm pregnant at least once a week. Last night was a pregnancy dream, and Todd didn't show up for the delivery. There were my mom and sister, by my side, helping me through it. And when Todd finally did make it to the hospital to see his newborn son, the baby looked like it was about 2 years old. Still lying in that little bed thing they put them in at the hospital. And he just looked at the baby, didn't want to touch it or didn't care what we named it...He just went outside, where there was a 50 person Gospel singing choir in red robes and swaying to the music.

(P.S. "JESUS" isn't recognized in the spell checker. We're all going to hell.)

Scraping

2005-11-30T11:37:00.000-08:00

As I sit here typing, there are men (I can only assume their gender) under my office building, I think directly under my desk, scraping rust from the pier-and-beam support system for our building. Metal against metal, scraping away. Continuous scraping. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. And they expect me to work here.

Ticks, Trees and Traditions

2005-11-29T14:12:00.000-08:00

Jack didn't get sick from the buttermilk pie, he actually really enjoyed the two hour ride home and his time out in the sticks of East Texas. He enjoyed being outside without a leash, went walking through the woods with Todd and came back with ticks (yikes!) and apparently loved the sound of his fingernails tap-tap-tapping on mom's hardwood floors. He followed me everywhere. Something I love so much it makes my heart melt.

It was a really good Thanksgiving holiday. I really enjoyed my time home -- seeing mom's new house and what my sister is doing to redecorate her new home as well. Makes me wish so badly that I owned a home. One day.

Mostly I loved the ride there and back, and the little trips in between, because you get to see some of the most beautiful colors of fall with all of the leaves changing. The brightest yellows and reds are my favorites. Surely Todd got tired of me saying, "Look at that one! Man! So bright!" Nah, he loved them, too.

Equally as enjoyable were the church signs. Not the signs outside of churches, not that those weren't a blast, but the signs in people's yards: "We HEART Rose Hill Baptist Church", or "We HEART First Baptist Church"...you name it, they had it. It's almost like all the churches were running for homecoming queen. Tons of families had those signs in their yards and I couldn't help but wonder, "Why?" What purpose do the signs serve? Recruitment? Advertisement? Todd and I almost started counting them, tallying up which church had the most yard signs, but we were too hung over by then to put out the effort.

Speaking of hung over...Todd experienced what a true small town party is like in the wintertime - right beside a campfire. We met some friends for dinner (BYOB! In a dry county!) then headed out to the sticks where a friend was building his new house. When we arrived, the campfire was in full force. We didn't find out until the next day that they had a "burn ban" that weekend. Mom said the fine could be up to $1,000 if you're caught. Thankfully (and surprisingly), no one told on us. I still can't get the smell of smoke out of my pants or even the bra I wore that night. It was a lot of fun, though. And there was a port-a-potty, so I didn't have to squat in the woods.

We came back into town on Saturday and spent the rest of the weekend with Todd's family -- playing cards, eating and watching television. It was nice to relax with them for a while, as even though they live in the same town as us, we rarely get to see them for longer than an hour or so.

Todd's mom puts sausage in her stuffing (or dressing, rather), my mom does not. They smoke their turkey, my mom does not. Neither is "better", it's just that the consumption of this particular annual meal is a religious experience for me. My mom knows we must have turkey, dressing, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, homemade rolls, giblet gravy, cranberry sauce (from the can) and an array of desserts. If they're not there, the convulsions begin. Todd's family had steak and lobster one year. I just love it. BUT, if there's ever a time when I don't get to spend Thanksgiving somewhere near my mother and her cooking...Well let's just say I have a lot of learning to do. Because I can't go more than 365 days without that meal. My stomach is growling as I type this.

Now I'm back to work. And I have so much work to do that I can't see straight, I don't know where to start. The work pile-up isn't a result of the holiday. It's because it's end of year.

"End of year". Heh. I used to be so thankful when it came to the end of a year, looking forward to closing the door on it and starting fresh the next. Closing the door on all the mistakes, the misunderstandings, the unfulfilled wants, the regrets. Not so much this year - I have loved 2005. It was a banner year for me. But I am excited about what 2006 brings. It's just a different feeling altogether. A good one.

Pies

2005-11-23T12:42:00.000-08:00

It's Thanksgiving eve and all of my laundry is done. It's the one thing on my list that was a "must do" before leaving town.

Another thing on the list was taking all the trash out. A subset of this task was to throw out the buttermilk pie that I made last week -- the recipe I used makes two pies, I took one of them to our Thanksgiving potluck at work, the other one sat here at home and got a little stale. I think we ate two small pieces from it. The reason you don't eat much buttermilk pie is because it's just so rich. Tons of sugar, butter, various extracts, buttermilk. As I'm gathering the trash, I sit down at the computer and start to check emails...this turns into about an hour of work, and that turned into Jack getting into the trash. When I found him, he had finished about half of the pie.

I called the vet. He said I had two choices -- give him a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide to make him vomit, or let it ride and prepare for diarrhea all night. I'm not a big fan of vomit, so I waited a bit. In about 15 minutes Jack was crying and pacing the floor. I took him outside, and he had some issues...Came back in and he was still miserable. So I gave him the hydrogen peroxide. Just as the vet said, in 15 minutes we had a mess on the bathroom floor. Poor baby, he was so scared and felt so bad, but I know he felt better after the "incident". Now he's at the groomer having a spa day. I explained to them about Jack's morning pie eating contest, and am crossing my fingers that there are no other "incidents" while he's there. He seemed fine for a few hours before his appointment, so I think we're good to go.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I might start fasting now, so that I can prepare myself for all the goodies my mom is preparing at home. I think my responsibility is to bring the wine. Well, that and make pies with her...no doubt buttermilk pies...I think she'll have to do those on her own this year.

Have a great long weekend, everyone!

Yet another free concert.

2005-11-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

Last night we saw The Fray and Ben Folds at Nokia in Grand Prairie. It was a great show. I thought The Fray was a great band, so I bought their CD. They're better live than on the recorded album, but they're certainly one to watch. Kind of a David Gray meets someone...I can't put my finger on the other half.

And Ben Folds...yowza. That is one talented man. I did fall asleep during the middle of his show, but I was just so tired I couldn't help it. We had the suite to ourselves so there was lots of private room up there to sleep and whatnot. Got a little shut eye and then finished watching the rest of the show - it really was remarkable. He's a great entertainer, and I can't believe I never knew this until just now.

I just finished packing for the trip, and am about to head out to pick up my boss and head to the airport. Oh, joy. This trip can't be over soon enough.

Busy as a bee

2005-11-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I do this...I over commit. I can't really complain when I have too much to do, because most of the time, I've brought it all on myself. This weekend is a perfect example. At the beginning of the week, all I had to do was go to a friend's wedding at 2:00 on Saturday. The list just grows from there. Pick up dry cleaning, develop the honeymoon pictures, make four loaves of sandwiches for the homeless shelter, have my brother and a friend of his in for a concert, go to the wedding, go to the reception, make the sandwiches, go to the concert...That brings us to Sunday. I've got to fly to Florida on Sunday for an early Monday morning client meeting.

Really, I'm not dreading any of the things I have to do this weekend, except the flight out on Sunday. It just robs me of my weekend. And to be honest, traveling by air the week of Thanksgiving is just not my idea of a good trip. I'm bracing myself for the delays and company of frustrated travelers.

I am glad that Sam is coming in for the concert tonight, that will be a lot of fun. I'm just counting down the days until Thursday when I get to go home and spend some time off with my family, who I haven't seen in so long for longer than an hour or two each meeting. I think that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday - any excuse to over-indulge on some good home cooking is my kind of day. Plus, both my mother and sister have moved into new homes in the past couple of months. I'm overly anxious to see those. Then there's B, my precious nephew...can't wait to smother him with some kisses.

Why am I sitting here making a post on this blog when the minutes are ticking away? Because I am nothing if I am not procrastinating.

I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.

2005-11-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

I am not a conspiracy theorist. I don't think everyone's out to get me. I don't think I'm owed anything. I don't cheat people out of things because I'm sure that I was owed that little perk somewhere along the way. I may have given away free candy to my friends while working at the video store in high school, but everyone was doing it, and I've confessed it and been washed clean of all my bad deeds.

Anyway.

I'm trying to consolidate mine and Todd's school loans. And it is a whip. I get mail piece after mail piece, indicating that consolidating is the best thing to do, there's "SMART LOAN" consolidation mail pieces in my mailbox every week. So I go online, spend 4 hours completing the application, and rather than just hitting "submit" I chose the option of having THEM print the application and mail it to me for review. So I've reviewed it.

I chose a company, Sallie Mae, that I've had loans with for the past seven years. They've always offered me a great interest rate - 3.85%. So when I was completing their application, I entered the 3.85% rate in the area next to my loans. When I get the printed version, it has those loans listed at 6.1%. How could this be wrong? I mean, I'm consolidating with this company, they've got to have it on file. If they'd gotten one of my other lenders wrong, I could start to understand that.

So I called them today...I explained to them they had it wrong. Turns out that if I consolidate (translation - bring more money to the table FOR THEM to earn interest on), then my rate goes up, and therefore increases the consolidated rate. There's absolutely no incentive to consolidate.

Speaking of the consolidated rate - it's nowhere on the application that I am required to sign and return. I asked the chick on the phone, "Do people normally sign and return these without being given a rate for their new consolidated loan?" She said, "Ma'am, customer service representatives are trained to tell people on the phone what their rate would be, and what their estimated monthly payment is." WTF? What if I hadn't called? They just let these things slip through in hopes that no one is reading the fine print.

So it got me thinking...how much paperwork have I signed in my lifetime (don't even get me started on car buying) where I've signed off on a few dollars here and there being taken from me without my complete knowledge and understanding? And how much has that added up to, in the last 30 years? And, who in the hell has time to read all the fine print with every business transaction you make?

My estimate is that the amount of money I've been screwed out of in my lifetime likely exceeds the amount I make in a year. I wish I had the time to do a study like this. Dateline, if you're reading the Luckey Girl blog, will you please get on this????

Nonetheless, again, I still don't feel like anyone owes me.

Click

2005-11-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

I am in the middle of a travel nightmare. Much different than the nightmare that was Vegas. Travel booking nightmare. I'm trying to book a trip to Florida, since my last one was canceled due to hurricane Wilma...and I've been on and off the phone with travel agents all morning. This is where I messed up - I booked the initial trip through my travel agent here at work, the second trip I booked directly online myself. I also paid for the second ticket without asking for a credit to be applied - the reason I did not ask for this was because I wasn't actually talking to anyone and it wasn't an option.

The roadblocks: the name change to Luckey, AND, Hurricane Wilma - I can only use the $ for that flight that THEY canceled if I book travel before November 15. Doesn't help me.

But this isn't the real nightmare. Oh no. The nightmare is that I have a real problem with the typing that travel agents do as they're on the phone with you. It sounds like they are type, type, typing every word you say or they have to go through 56 screens to get to the information they're looking for to help you, I don't know there's just So. Much. Typing.

"One moment...click click clickity clickity click...and you said your name is?...click click clickity clickity click...and do you have that record locator number?...click click clickity clickity click...and how else can I help you today?...(still) click click clickity clickity click..."

It just sounds like their typing never stops. I am starting to wonder if they're instant messaging with each other, something like, "You ought to listen to this idiot I'm talking to now..." or "I'm going to stick her with a $50 change fee even though she doesn't deserve it...and I'm sending it right to my bank account so that I can get that great scarf I saw on QVC..."

I have no idea why I'm so upset about the typy-clicky-fingers today.
I think I have a case of the Monday's for sure.

Vegas Update

2005-11-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

This is what I hate about Vegas...Waking up every day, leaving my room, and always feeling like I'm in a nightclub. Even early in the morning. The client dinners and over-indulgences...It's just becoming too much. I want to spend this weekend on my couch, in my PJ's, doing nothing at all. I'm over-stimulated right now. I think I need medication.

Also, there's "a charge" for everything here. To use the gym, $24/day. A DAY. Most people pay this much a month for a gym membership. RIDICULOUS! You know what it is...They "comp" all the gamblers for their food and gym and all that jazz, so those of us not spending a load of money in the casinos pick up the charges for everyone else. Ridiculous.

I used to think that I really liked Vegas. Maybe I like Vegas when I'm not here for work, or only here for a few days. Long trips here are insane.

Counting down the minutes until I land at DFW airport. Wish I could fly out sooner.

Las Vegas Blues

2005-11-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

I'm in Las Vegas right now. While it is such a fun city, I can't help thinking how much better it would be if Todd were here. I have this great room...I mean, great room. And it's just me and my computer in here. Until Thursday. And I wish Jack was here too.

I'm having to practice restraint on the gambling. As most of you know, I do love to gamble. Last night I wasted $15 in the slot machines because I just didn't feel "warmed up" yet to go to the tables. I'm hoping that I break my leg or there just isn't sufficient time, so that I'm not able to go the rest of the week. I know the casinos are open 24/7. But I'm in conference meetings all day, and have to work on my regular work in the evenings.

Everything here is completely in excess. Everything. That is one thing I don't like about this city. All the wasted energy and resources...

I've got to head out and find some coffee. For some reason, the Hampton Inn knows that a coffee maker is needed in a room, these guys need to get on board.

Organic Style

2005-11-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

Have you ever subscribed to a magazine that you loved so much that you got all giddy and excited when you found it in your mailbox each month? This has happened to me a couple of times...First when I subscribed to George magazine. After JFK, Jr. died, it tried to make it on its own then was discontinued shortly after. I still have every copy of that magazine.

Mary bought me a subscription to The New Yorker once, and I loved it so much but felt so guilty when I wasn't able to read it completely before the next issue arrived. Because I couldn't keep up, I had to cancel the subscription when it came time to renew.

For the past couple of years or so, I have subscribed to Organic Style magazine, and I have loved every single page of every single issue. Some issues I read over and over again. This magazine has everything I've ever wanted, it is my magazine. Great recipes and health tips, every tip in the world for how to live a 'greener' life, stories about amazing men and women who are doing amazing things in this world to make it a better place...it's just chock full of goodness. I love it.

Today, I got a note in the mail from them that said the October issue (that I've already received) would be the last issue. They also returned my check for my next year's subscription. I'm sitting here wondering how I can be so attached to a magazine? I'm very upset about not receiving another issue, ever again.

There are thousands of magazines out there...surely I can find one that compares. I just don't think I will. I've never round anything like it before. Before it goes away completely, go online to the Organic Style Web site and see all the great articles out there.

Wednesday stuff.

2005-11-02T09:43:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned already that I've been eating ham sandwiches for the last couple of weeks, thinking it was turkey? I asked for turkey at the deli, so I never thought to look. I was wondering why it was so tasty. I like to heat my sandwiches up in the microwave for about 10 seconds when they've been in the fridge all morning. I just don't like a cold sandwich.

I am not the only person who has some issues or obsessions with poop. One of my very close friends at work, when pissed off by someone, says he's going to "launch a bean turd" at them. Use your imagination. It's disgusting. Sometimes he just says he's going to leave them a "desk dookie".

There is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup on my desk, and it has been there for a couple of weeks. It's gone uneaten. This is amazing, I think.

I have to travel too much this month. I used to love traveling for work, before I was married. Now, I just want to be home with Todd, Jack and Lily...when I'm not traveling it seems like we have no time to just be home and do nothing. Two trips this month necessitate a Sunday flight out...so that means two weekends this month are shot already. Argh.

Watch your mailboxes, kids. A couple of you may be getting a little sussie in the mail this week.

I just lost an entire post.

2005-11-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

It was about lots of things...Todd's grandmother being in the hospital and my ability to diagnose her with all of my hospital-themed prime time television watching experience, how I've determined that I'm grossly underpaid after visiting this Web site, and how I heard Jack peeing on the floor in the living room while I was in the guest bedroom working. I heard it. Which means it was coming out onto the carpet with some force. He never potties inside anymore, I have no idea why he did it. He'd just been out 45 minutes earlier. Then, while I was on a conference call he was barking so loudly that I had to lock him in one room and head to the other side of the apartment in order to finish the call without yelling. I don't know what's gotten into him today...But finally, he is asleep. And dreaming.

Vuh-gee-na

2005-10-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

It's very important, in this post, that when you read the word, "Vagina" (proper), that it is pronounced, "vuh-gee-na".

Good Lord the keywords and search phrases that will bring people to my site after this post...

I don't think I've ever told the story of our dog, Vagina. At some point in my late teenaged years, perhaps my junior year in high school, my family moved from our house "in town" out to the sticks, or, rather, to The Farm. The house was about five or so miles out of Hometown, proper, and on about 3 acres of land. We didn't plant or grow anything there, nor did we have livestock of any kind, but everyone called it "the farm" for some reason. We did, however, have animals.

In the beginning, we had Honey, my own personal sweet angel of a dog, the sweetest dog I've ever had. (I'm including Jack here. Seriously, Honey was a sweet thing. We only ever heard her bark once. And she liked to cuddle with you.) Honey was half schnauzer, half poodle -- a "snoodle", if you will. We rescued her from a REAL farm (with horses and all kinds of livestock) where she had to fight for her food and was never bathed. I loved that dog and she loved me back - I loved her despite her decline in her later years -- her odor, the loss of control of her bladder. And she loved me so much that, when I went to college, she went to sleep and never woke up. That sounds really morbid, but that's what happened. She grieved herself to death. At least this is what my parents told me.

Honey was an "inside" dog.

Now, we also had a couple of cats. One disappeared once we moved to The Farm, found a better place to live, I'm sure. The other one, Allie, liked to play with the "outside" dogs. (I'll explain those later.) She was adventurous. Unfortunately, I watched her die in the street, she was hit by a car. As I was driving my 1976 Buick Riviera into the driveway at The Farm, I saw her lying there. Poor thing...I didn't know what to do, so I ran inside, got the cordless phone, called my mother, and ran back out to the street to watch the hideousness, asking my mom over and over again, "What do I do??? She's dying here!"

Later, we buried Allie on The Farm, and later that evening we noticed that the outside dogs found her, resurrected her, and kept playing with her. Even after her death she was a good time for those dogs. Sweet Allie.

Anyway, the outside dogs. I was sitting here, trying to remember how we came to own these dogs, but I can't remember all of their stories. One black "lab" with some sort of nervous condition -- he peed himself anytime you got near him -- not out of fear, more out of excitement. Then there was the gnawing and chewing of his own fur coat. He was just not a smart dog, I'd say. I believe someone in our neighborhood "in town" had convinced my brother that he was a smart black Labrador retriever, and we ended up with the dog at The Farm.

The second of the outside dogs was Lee - a rotweiller mix of a big dog. Lee had the beautiful black and tan markings of a rotweiller, but the build and face of another dog altogether. I've been sitting here trying to remember how we came to own Lee, but I can't, for the life of me, remember. Maybe it goes without saying that I wasn't in any way "close" to the outside dogs.

My dad owned restaurants for most of my upbringing. When I was in high school he decided he was tired of working for himself, and went to work as a traveling salesman, selling restaurant supplies. He traveled all over east Texas, stopping at every restaurant establishment to meet the people, maybe share a cup of coffee with them, maybe even a meal. Dad really loved these people. I saw him in action a few times, and his rapport with these people was not due to the bait of a bonus or a commission - he truly enjoyed the company of other people and their stories.

The particular day that our third outside dog came home to join us, Dad met a new face on the job. Entering a new restaurant and being introduced to the manager, Dad, in his usual heavy Cajun accent said, "Hi. I'm Johnny Brian, nice to meet you."

"My name's Vagina."

"What's that?"

"Vagina."

"And how do you spell that, exactly?"

"V-A-G-I-N-A, Vagina."

"That's what I thought. Nice to meet you, Vagina."

And so it was, Dad arrived home that day and we told him about the new dog that we'd acquired. As soon as he saw her, he said, "Your name's Vagina", then he told us the story of the remarkable woman he'd met a few hours earlier.

The truth is, Vagina the dog walked up to our house and called The Farm "home" without even asking us. But she was a good dog, sweet and quiet. She was not pretty. She had awful teeth and an ugly coat...but my dad loved her. Yes, Dad loved Vagina. Not as much as he loved Poop, though. That's a whole other story for another day.

When we had guests, Vagina took on a different name, just "Gina". And when my dad died and my mom had to sell The Farm, Gina jumped into the car of a woman at my mom's yard sale. Mom didn't yet know what she was going to do with all the outside dogs when she moved back into town...so when the woman asked if she could keep her, mom was grateful for the offer.

"What's her name?" she asked.

"Her name is Gina. I'd love for you to give her a good home," my mom said.

Busy weekend ahead.

2005-10-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am constantly telling our friends and family how it seems like our lives never stop. And they don't. This weekend is the big golf tournament we've been organizing. Tonight we have to travel around the DFW area picking up donations and stuffing "goodie bags" for the players. We have to put together a grill, so that it can be on display as one of the raffle items, stuff the bags, gather all the prizes, get the hole sponsorship signs ready...And both of us will likely be working late so we won't make it home to get started until late. We've got to be at the golf course at 6:00 am on Saturday morning...Herding cats. Once this is over, I'll feel better, less anxious about all the details.

Last night we were invited to the Mavericks game, and scored some really great seats. I think that basketball is my favorite "live" sport. It's so fun to watch, and unlike football, the "plays" last longer than 4 seconds and there's not a lot of down time. Perfect for my SADD (Sports Attention Deficit Disorder). A fun night, indeed.

Hopefully things will wind down on Sunday, and I'll get to see my best friend, who I have not really seen much since our wedding. Her new baby is growing and growing and I'm missing out on all of it. Our schedules never seem to synch up so that we can get together. I think we're also a little guilty of not trying harder to make it work. They, like us, savor every moment of down time, "alone" time. The good thing is, we respect that about each other.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. And for those of you in this area, enjoy the perfect weather. Do something outside, enjoy the warmth of the sun on a perfect-temperature day! I love this time of year, I really do.

Update

2005-10-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

I am not in Florida. This is a wonderful thing.

Also...

2005-10-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

The "eye of the storm" is right over the area where I will be traveling tomorrow. Nice.

GolfGirl, back in business.

2005-10-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Todd and I had the best Saturday. We were able to sleep in a little bit that morning, after a few glasses of wine the night before, it was much needed. We got up and ate breakfast, laid around a bit, and then headed out to play a round of golf. I'm playing in a tournament next Saturday to raise money for our mission trip to New Orleans next June, so I needed to dust off the clubs.

We've never played golf together before...And I have to admit I was a little nervous. First, we're very competitive. In a good way. And Todd is so athletic that he could pick up any sport in a matter of minutes and play it flawlessly. I was worried that even though I played on a team in high school, and played somewhat regularly from year to year since then...Well I was worried that he'd ask me at the end of the day, "You've been playing this sport for how many years?" Second, I haven't played in at least a year. Maybe two. Golf isn't a game you can just sit a year out and come back the same as the last time you played...It's not like riding a bike. Third, even when I do play regularly, my game is inconsistent. I can have two really good holes, then have to just pick the ball up and throw it at something on the next. Some days, there's a lot of kicking and screaming and saying really bad words in front of strangers who just stare at you...Anyway, I didn't know if I was prepared for Todd to see this just yet. Given that I'm still the blushing, sweet, innocent bride, you know.

But it turned out to be a perfect day. The weather was perfect. Neither of us was doing too bad, we played pretty much the same, actually. They let us walk on and play together alone, rather than pairing us with two others. The people in front of us weren't too slow, and the people behind us weren't creeping up on us the entire time. We both really like being outdoors (as long as it's not cold, for me), and we were able to do just that - spend the entire day together outdoors, and most importantly, we found something else we can do together.

After golf we went out for dinner and came home and spent some more time on the couch with Jack and Lily, staring at the TV. Good times.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. It's cold now, time for sedation. Time for the grieving process to begin.

Will you just look at him?

2005-10-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

He's the most adorable dog in the world, some days I just can't take how sweet and perfect he is. Even when he's eating cat shit out of Lily's poo box.

Bloggggs

2005-10-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

I have to say, and I know I've said it before, but I really do enjoy reading the blogs that I read each day. Except Jonathan's, when it turns to all-football-all-the-time, plus he never updates it. (Sorry, Jonny, but I haven't taken a stab at you online in a while. I got nothin' but love, man. Nothin' but love.) But each one of the blogs that I link on the right hand side of my page really is a cup full of pure reading joy for me.

I love the Post Secrets blog - it's amazing the secrets people have, the pain, the history, the love, the desire...I keep meaning to send one, but I don't know what it would say? It's not that I don't have secrets...I'm going to have to think on that one.

And Windfall Woman, if you haven't read this one yet, it's about a woman who recently had a "windfall", we can only assume she won the lotto or slipped on a broken bottle of baby oil and fell at Wal-Mart and sued them for all they have (joke). Either way, she's got money she's never had and is journaling about her thought process on what to do with it. It's so funny, we all have that fantasy, "If I won the lottery, what would I do with it?", but reading her thoughts on it in a real life situation is really interesting. I'm not going to lie and say that Todd and I haven't been buying lotto tickets ever since, either. They're actually on the fridge right now, tucked behind a $1 Westie dog magnet that I splurged on while on my trip to M-Town.

Of course, we all love Dooce. My only issue with her blog is that after reading it each day, I want to pick up the phone and call her and chat with her, as if we were BFF's, or at least make a comment. I want to talk back. I have thoroughly enjoyed watching Leta grow, and I'm constantly wondering how she gets Leta or her dog to sit still for the photos she takes of them. They're both so beautiful. She is amazing with words and with her camera. What a lady. I've actually learned a lot from reading her blog, about depression, specifically. In my family, women were sent to the hospital for a stay because they were having "nervous breakdowns"...no one thought to talk to them about the fact that their husbands were alcoholics or were abusing them...just lock em up for a few weeks and keep them quiet. Anyway, she's opened my eyes to a lot of things about depression that I just didn't know, and for that, I'm thankful.

It would take several pages (very interesting stories on pages) to explain how I came to know and build relationships (online or otherwise) with the other ladies linked over there...Jessie, Jen, Amber, Terri...regardless of how they came to be or what it took to get us there, I'm thankful for them all. One day, I imagine us all getting together for a couple of drinks and just spilling out all the things we never talk about in the public forum. To Jen's point, there are things you just don't put on here. After we meet for said drinks, we'll write a screenplay about it all, get rich, and quit our jobs.

Anyway, I was just thinking today about all of it. The blogs and what-not. I think that this post, which does nothing more than state the obvious, is more entertaining than a write up on the cookout we had at work today where everyone wore their alma mater T-shirts, tossed the football around, and ate lots of meat products.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Love is...

2005-10-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

...Trying to convince your wife that you really don't want to use the free tickets and go to the Stars game, that you're really tired and would rather watch hockey on TV. Because she is tired and not feeling well.

I didn't sleep last night. I took the allergy/sinus meds early in the evening in hopes of making it past the "no sleep" timeframe that always accompanies taking the drugs. Instead, I passed out on the couch early, and when Todd woke me to tell me to go to bed, I laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling all night. After taking the meds early this morning and feeling the "I think my heart is going to jump out of my chest" feeling just now, at 1:42 in the afternoon, I think I've figured out the timing on them. It's a little delayed.

I knew when I saw all of that ragweed on the side of the road that I was in for trouble. But I didn't take anything, just testing my body which I already know so well. Stupid is as stupid does.

I think it's the combination of being extremely tired and not being able to sleep at all that is the most frustrating. I'll take the swollen glands, itchy throat, sore ears and snotty nose, just give me some rest!

Todd's so generous when it comes to wanting to make me feel better, and he knows just how to do it...There was an email waiting for me when I got to work this morning, letting me know that it's head and foot rubs all evening for me when I get home. Ahhh...Is there anything better? I'm so lucky.

L is different than B

2005-10-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

For the past two and a half years, my mailbox at my office has been in the same spot. I can easily walk by there on the way to the restroom (very infrequently, obviously) and peer into it to see if someone has placed any of my print-outs or mail in there...

Today I couldn't find it! I panicked.

I'm now classified with the L's...Lauri Luckey. And the L's are much higher up on the wall than the B's. I can barely see in there, I have to get on my tippy toes. This throws all kinds of routines off the tracks.

I've taken on a new last name, but I've been bumped in the alphabet.

My weekend, in 500 words or less.

2005-10-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

I think that I have officially lost my husband, he's left me for a free trial of some hockey station on cable...I was doing some grocery shopping when he called to tell me about it:

"You are never going to believe this."

"What?" (Panicked, afraid something terrible has happened. Always thinking the worst, of course.)

"You know how on our cable box, that red light comes on when Comcast has a message for us? We never check it."

"I know, what did it say?" (Thinking that I forgot to pay the bill, and that we're canceled and we can't have it back. Ever.)

"You're not going to believe it. There is a free trial of (insert NHL cable channel here) -- it's for a week, and we've had it since LAST WEDNESDAY. I'm sitting here watching (insert 3-4 games, team names here), all at once!"

"What kind of beer do you want me to get."

Thankfully, I don't hate hockey like I hate football. I think I've written a time or two about how I hate football. Hockey is fun to watch. Football, not so much. It is so boring, and all the stops and starts...Anyway, my point is that losing my husband to an institution like hockey is not as bad as if he were watching football non-stop. At least I can sit and watch the hockey with him and enjoy it. If it were football, you might find me in the other room, packing my things and what-not.

In other weekend news, I made a trip to my hometown to pick up my Aunt B and see my mom's new house. It's coming along nicely and I can just imagine how eager she is to get moved in. There's still some work to be done, but from the looks of it, it's going to be a great place.

On our way home, we stopped at a farmer's market and bought lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, as well as a big pot of mums. So I made a pot of fresh pinto beans and adorned our patio with a big pot full of fluffy yellow mums. Of course, I explained to Todd that while I liked the flowers and I made the decision to purchase them, it was definitely up to him to keep them alive, as that is not a tool on my toolbelt. Nosireebob. I kill everything.

I also tried to make Jessie's pumpkin cake, per my sister's suggestion. I burned it.

What else? Oh, I bought some great running shoes for the "Race for the Cure" on Saturday. Seriously, I haven't bought tennis shoes in a long time, I was due.

And, my priest asked me if I was pregnant. He said he asked me because I was "glowing". Of course, all I heard was "You're fat, you've gained some weight, is that a baby in that belly?"

No, for the 100th time, I am not pregnant.

Happy Monday, everyone.

Brrrrrr...

2005-10-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's cold. I'm wearing corduroys and a turtleneck. And wool socks. Rumor has it that it will be back up to 75 degrees this weekend, so that is good. Although, I do love the change in wardrobe every time the season changes. However, I could dress this way every day - it's always freezing in our office. Today is no different, they're just not ready to turn on the heater.

So yeah, Jack's not going to walk in the Westie Walk. But we are considering getting another dog...Because we are retarded.

Speaking of retarded dog things. We've discovered "Frosty Paws" - an ice cream dessert for dogs. And Jack LOVES them. It's just frozen protein and some other stuff, it's not really ice cream. I only give him a third of each little container each time, but he thinks he's died and gone to doggie heaven. He has his treat while Todd eats his (or my) ice cream each night. I'm telling you, if you love your dog, you'll get him some Frosty Paws.

Jack Luckey

2005-10-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

So...yeah...There's a "Westie Walk" this weekend in Carrollton.
I think Jack needs to put on his Hawaiian shirt and get some exercise.

Rain

2005-10-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

The dude who cut my hair this week, my priest, my husband, my co-workers...All very excited about the cold front that was supposed to be here today. It is chilly, but certainly not COLD. It is raining, though, and we haven't had any rain in a while, so that is good. For some reason, a change in temperature energizes me.

I might have written about windshield wipers before, I'm not sure. I'm obsessed with windshield wipers -- how well they work or don't work, the speed a driver chooses to use when I'm riding in the car with him, whether or not they make noises as they're wiping. I've noticed, while in the car with them or watching them in traffic, that men don't over-use the windshield wiper function. Todd doesn't use them enough. I feel comfortable enough with him in a car that I will operate them myself from the passenger seat. But sometimes (like this morning), I'm behind a driver who is clearly sitting in their car and not able to see through the rain. I worry about these people. Maybe they're conserving energy? I don't know. I know that I might need some new blades soon, though.

Back to the dude who cut my hair this week. BIG MISTAKE. My hairdresser moved to Austin, and since he moved I haven't gotten my hair cut - it's been months. I got desperate this week and found a new guy at the same salon where my hairdresser worked. At one point in the experience, I was telling him where to cut and suggesting methods that others have used before...at another point, the other stylist in the room asked if he could offer some suggestions or help out. I mean, disaster. I don't hate my hair, but I certainly didn't get what I wanted. And I felt so trapped sitting there. His attitude was like, "I've been working on it for over an hour now, your time is up." And I was left sitting there, unsatisfied. Even the other dude said, "If you have another client after her, maybe she can come back?" He just shrugged his shoulders. Like he was a mute or something. As I'm typing this, I'm getting angry with myself for not speaking up...Oh well. It's not like I don't wear it up in a ponytail every day anyway.

I need a personal assistant to clean my house, pay my bills, and make sure my desk is in order every day before I come to work. I need about 4 more hours in each day. I will wish for that tonight.

Back to work, it's Monday.

2005-10-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

Poker and Uno on Friday night. Rockin'.

Saturday, we did some laundry and cleaning, then I worked on our budget. We're trying to consolidate our student loans and do something with our credit cards that makes sense...all I know is that what we're doing now doesn't make sense and that I hate being a grown up. I need a financial planner.

Saturday night, Todd, his dad and brother, and my cousin went to the Santana show at Nokia, thanks to my friend with the great ticket hook ups. I had patio time with my cousin -- we drank wine (correction: LOTS of wine) and exchanged recipes and good stories. We haven't done that in months, so it was nice. A late night, indeed.

Sunday - church, then lunch with the family. We did our grocery shopping then went to see "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Disturbing. Dinner with Todd's family that evening and home at a decent hour.

I don't enjoy spending my Sunday nights dreading the work week ahead...I know that this feeling comes and goes, the stress at work will come and go, it just seems that it's here to stay for a while, though.

Today I cut my finger in the break room, cutting open the wrapper of a delicious black bean wrap that I ate for lunch. I sliced it pretty deep, and the Band Aid is in such a bad place that it hooks onto the keyboard keys as I type. I'm not sure, but I think the amount of blood I've lost and the bandage interference is reason enough just to go on home and recover for the rest of the day.

I am stuck on Band-Aid brand, cause Band-Aid's stuck on me.

THIS...Is not about poop.

2005-09-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

But it is about the work restroom. When I walk into the women's restroom I always have a brief panic attack, I mean, a millisecond of fear that I have entered the men's restroom. This is likely because I don't go to this restroom often, given the other *issues* which won't be spoken of in this particular post that is NOT about poop.

I think maybe overall, I have some anxiety issues lately. No idea why. So un-me.

Finally Friday

2005-09-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a bad mood. Not necessarily a bad mood, just a lot of anxiety. Anxiety over all the things I didn't get done at work all week long...How far behind I am. It doesn't even soothe me that I have no meetings today and have time to make a dent in the stack. Mostly because I feel so fried that I've found myself staring at my computer screen, thinking about my dog and my husband who I've shown less love to this week because work has packed its shit and moved right into my emotional and mental chakras, rendering me unable to think about anything else.

Except for an hour last night when I watched the season premiere of Everwood. I'm so glad that show is back...Oh, and I wasn't thinking of work during Todd's softball game when, even though they were losing badly, I was captivated and, as usual, a little fascinated by the fact that people can run and catch balls at the same time. Todd made (scored?) a home run. That was pretty spectacular.

Yesterday I bought a chess board. Um huh.

I spent quite some time this morning picking up dog poop in the grassy area where I take Jack to go potty. When OCD meets poopy yard, it's amazing the things that can happen. I don't do it each time he goes, because it's very wasteful from the little blue bag perspective. So I pick it up weekly or bi-weekly. Plus, isn't it a good fertilizer? Anyway, there are quite a few other dogs in our building. I hear them all the time, but never see them potty. But I know that they're there, and that they're pottying in the same grassy area. But no one else picks up the poop. Granted, I'm already out there, and I'm saving even more bags by picking it all up at once. My point is more about this: I don't like to change other people's baby's dirty diapers. Mom says that when it's your own baby, it doesn't bother you as much. The same goes for dog poop. I'm not sure what these people are feeding their dogs, but they should do some research and reconsider their choices. Man! Anyway, I always know Jack's poop because it has tennis ball hair in it, of course.

I also find it very interesting that women, when they reach a certain age, go get their hair "done" or "fixed" or "styled" once or twice a week. No woman in my family has ever done that. Well, let me rephrase, my grandmother and my great aunts never did that. There is one aunt (by marriage) whose hair is absolutely amazing. Amazing because it never moves and has a very interesting shape. Like a space helmet or something, I don't know. Or like Dracula, from that movie? Anyway, I don't "get" getting your hair styled and not washing it yourself, only washing it a couple times a week. My mom says that when you get older, you have less oil in your hair, it doesn't get as "dirty". Oil or no oil, I will always wash my hair.

I need a haircut, too. I want it to be long again, but I know that if it is, I will continue with my recent routine (since the wedding, maybe before) -- wash and wrap into a knot. I don't blow it dry, curl it, style it, anything. If I had a good shaped head, I'd shave it. Nah.

Back to work.

Shots

2005-09-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I got a flu shot and a B12 shot. My arm and my butt feel like they're going to fall off. I guess your butt can't "fall off". But your arm sure can.

Work is busier than ever, making it very hard to do anything but sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep, work. But the crisp, cold air this morning sure was refreshing. And it's still a little cool outside. Feels great. Camping weather, for sure.

Being a "planner" sucks.

2005-09-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

The severity of hurricane Rita is scary. I pray that all the families in the way of the storm find shelter and that we don't have the level of devastation as we had with Katrina.

We canceled our trip to Austin this weekend for ACL. Now it looks like there might be a chance of rain on Saturday, that's it. We called our hotel and found that there were people waiting in line there, in the lobby and out the door, for a room. We certainly didn't want to take a room from an evacuee for a music festival. So the decision not to go set will with me. But now, now that there's no real rain and we actually do have a place to stay (with Will) on Saturday night if we need it, I'm a little frustrated.

So, does anyone want to buy two ACL 3-day passes? :)

www.FindYourSpot.com

2005-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

After reading Jessie's comment box and hearing that her dream place came up as #1 on her list after taking this survey, I had to do it.

According to this Web site, I should be living in one of these cities:
1. Little Rock, Arkansas
2. Honolulu, Hawaii (big shocker there)
3. Las Vegas, Nevada (they didn't even ask anything about gambling?)
4. Portland, Oregon (We'll just move in with Amber and Terri)
5. San Bernardino, California (That's what I'm talkin' about.)
6. Sacramento, California

Waiting on Todd's test results to see if we can fine one common place on the list. One thing we know for sure is that he loves cold, I love warm. He loves mountains, I love beach. We'll see.

Light at the end of the tunnel.

2005-09-20T06:46:00.000-07:00

Folks, I think (dare I say it?) that I have finished all of my thank you notes.

Some of them are still awaiting addresses. But the most of them are written, stamped, and in the outgoing mail box.

I want to get cookied.

2005-09-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry, Textamerica. For the hate mail.

2005-09-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just realized that the reason I can't see photos from Textamerca on my blog really has nothing to do with Textamerica at all. I think it's a setting on my laptop. I'm not sure WHAT setting, but I just put two and two together that I can see them at home, and not at work.

Finally

2005-09-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

I heard on the radio this morning, an advertisement for a car, called an MAV, "Multi Activity Vehicle". Finally a car that someone like me, with no "sport" in her life, can relate to. With a MAV, I could easily go grocery shopping, to and from work, to the post office, without feeling the pressure of being athletically inclined in any way.

Todd and I opened a joint checking account yesterday. Or rather, he joined my account. This should be interesting. We can't find time to sit down and update our budget, get financially organized. It's driving me crazy.

I worked from home yesterday with the intention of churning out three proposals and doing a stupid analysis of a client's Web site reports...Those stupid reports took me all day long (I didn't even take time to shower) and I still didn't get them done. I have three deadlines for tomorrow and am feeling a lot of anxiety because of it. That's why I'm ending this post now and getting back to work.

Hasta.

Also.

2005-09-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

I just clicked over to Jessie's blog and read that she dealt with car crap all weekend, too. Then I read further to see that she'd seen a good movie. This reminded me of something else we did this weekend:

We watched Crash, the movie. On DVD.

This was the best movie I've seen in a very long time. However, it was the most disturbing and gut-wrenching movie I've seen since American History X, or something like that.

There were about three times that I looked at Todd and said, "I don't think I can finish the movie...I can't handle it." But I made it through. And I was glad for it. Everyone should see it.

Weekend was good.

2005-09-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

Todd and I went to his boss' house on Friday night for dinner and games. Todd is so competitive, even more so than me. I hope his boss' husband didn't think we were freaks. Dinner was good, they're really nice people. But they don't game like we game.

Saturday we got up and got some cleaning done around the apartment (laundry...we started our week today without ANY dirty laundry, and I can't tell you how good that feels.) Thankfully we got a lot done, because the rest of the day and evening was spent buying a car. Not that it was an unpleasant car buying experience. Really, it was the easiest one so far. We bought a Hyundai Sonata and really like it. Good gas mileage, great payments, good warranty. We're supposed to take it in tonight to have it detailed (they didn't have a chance to do it before we left) and I'm going to talk to them about exchanging my car for something smaller and more gas-efficient. Of course, I "exchanged" early on my last one, which is why I'm in the situation I'm in now. We'll see how it goes. I hate cars.

I made dinner last night. While I've made dinner since we've been married, this felt like our first "dinner". We actually ate it at the table, and the food was actually put into serving dishes. There wasn't a TV in the room. It was actually pretty tasty. A roasted pork tenderloin with carmelized onions and golden raisins. Garlic-rosemary new potatoes, and green beans with sliced almonds. Two issues with this mean: I smelled like onions and garlic (which later just smells like B.O.) for the rest of the evening, and those onions and all that garlic...makes my tummy hurt. Made my tummy hurt at 3:41 am this morning. Ughh.

Back to work. I have an afternoon chock full of meetings. Joy.

Just some stuff.

2005-08-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have been opening and editing this draft post for a couple of weeks now. I just can't seem to get it written, I get busy and distracted and end up just hitting "save" and not coming back to it for a while.

I was writing about how Todd's grandmother and his aunt and uncle are not leaving their homes in Mississippi and how worried we were that they wouldn't make it through the hurricane. They're fine. His parents went to Long Beach to get his grandmother and take his aunt and uncle supplies....Their homes are destroyed, of course. His grandmother is now safe at home with them, but she is anxious to get back home. Even though she doesn't have a home to return to. She wants to buy a car and drive back. It seems so irrational, but at the same time, I completely understand. She's here, with none of her things. I would be very frustrated, too. She told Todd stories about the hurricane -- how she was lying on her bed, just watching her shoes and other belongings floating there next to her. My God I just can't imagine.

Another paragraph in my draft post read, "Todd read today that gas prices might reach $3.00 per gallon, we picked a great weekend for a road trip." Well, the prices certainly rose. We used two tanks of gas -- and while it was more expensive than usual, my car got AMAZING gas mileage.

Speaking of gas mileage, Todd and I went car shopping this weekend. He needs a new car, the hood of his actually flew up while he was driving the other day. That's only one of the many problems it has. He doesn't mind it as much as I do, but it's time. He just wants to ride a bike everywhere. This is admirable, I think. But given that he has a long commute in a non-bike-friendly series of towns...And the fact that we need that car as a primary, better gas mileage car...We need to just get a car. And car shopping is an ass whipping.

A side note...How baked do we look in those DMB concert pictures that I took with my camera phone? Jeez Louise. That was a good show. They played "Two Step", therefore I was pleased. There is nothing better than the live version of "Two Step" from their show at the Gorge. The first stanza of lyrics, makes my armhairs stand at attention. I'm not a crier, I don't even think Todd has ever seen me cry. But in the car, by myself, sometimes, I cry when I listen to that song. Yep. I'm a crazy.

I have thought of about ten million things I want to write about in the last couple of weeks. I'll just list those I can remember...
- We bought a new bagless vacuum cleaner. Holy cats that thing sucked up so much dust and animal hair the first time we used it. I can't believe that we've actually been walking on that carpet. Disgusting.
- I am up to my ears in thank you notes. I wrote 25 at Todd's hockey game last night, unfortunately that also means that I missed every goal he made. I'm a terrible wife.
- I love, love, LOVE the weather this time of year. I love sitting on my patio in the mornings and evenings. I wish I had something more spectacular to look at than a parking lot and the tops of covered parking spaces that are costing someone $25 a month.
- I want to write and write and write about this hurricane, its devastation, the public's reaction, I just don't have it in me today.

I have to get back to work now.

Lauri Lee Luckey

2005-08-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

I had a beautiful, meaningful, long, spiritual wedding.
I had a hectic, suffocating, quick reception.
I had an awesome honeymoon.

I'm back. Back to 240 emails. Back to crazy work stuff. Back to what is now a very messy, very crowded apartment. But very happy to be there with my husband (yowza!) and my little love muffins - Jack and Lily.

I am upset that I feel like I can't catch up on everyone's blogs. I think I might have had blog withdrawal.

I have no idea when I will get pictures...I know that they were taken with all film, so I'm not even sure if any will be digital to upload. (So there were some details that I didn't quite cover off on in the planning process...)

I think I've decided on the LLL, rather than the LBL.

I'm a wife.

I will work on a post. Sometime soon. Back to work.

It's my wedding day!

2005-08-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

On a night that I needed the most sleep, I couldn't sleep at all.

My stomach hates me.

Since I was a little girl, I have had issues with a nervous stomach. Not nervous about getting married, I'm terrified of standing in front of all those people, all eyes on us. The thought of this has sent me running to the bathroom several times this morning. I've really got to shake this. Mostly, I'm afraid of vomiting my way down to greet Todd, fresh breath and all.

BUT. I'm so excited. I'm so ready to do this. I'm even more ready for the honeymoon, but I'm looking forward to the marriage.

Wish me luck. And send non-vomit vibes my way.

Check in with you guys in a week or so!

Anxiety.

2005-08-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've got it. I've got it goooood.
Good anxiety.
Good grief.
I scheduled a massage for Friday morning.
That's right after a waxing. Like that doesn't make you all anxious enough.
I'm off work starting tomorrow.
Who am I kidding, I've checked out already.
I bought new swimsuits.
Three of them.
Happy day.

I don't love training.

2005-08-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. Training for two days. It's a miserable experience. But it's okay -- things could be worse. Things could always be worse.

On a really good note, I had the best bachelorette party known to woman this past weekend. I have the best friends in the world. It was a good time, therefore I was in bed for the entire next day, completely unproductive at a time when productivity is necessary to survival.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend!

2005-08-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

I hate Textamerica.
And when I have time to figure out Jessie's newfangled thing, I'm switchin'.

Almost Official.

2005-08-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Todd and I went to get our marriage license today at lunch. First, we all know the typical government agency experience -- people aren't always the friendliest, it takes forever, yada yada yada. It wasn't that way at all. The lady who helped us was extremely friendly and so excited for us. When she made us raise our right hands to vow that all the information we'd provided her was correct, she actually made Todd vow some things like taking the trash out, etc. She was wonderful.

What was so upsetting about the trip, though, was what we saw around us. The other couples there for marriage licenses... You can't help but overhear (especially when you're trying to eavesdrop) all of the details of their situations.

Couple #1. When the female was asked if she was still married to her ex-husband she said no. Then she asked the clerk, "What if I were? What would we need to do?" The clerk replied that if she were, in fact, still married, then her husband of record would need to appear with them to give his permission for her to be married. Then the clerk asked the routine question of the husband to be: "Do you have any outstanding child support obligations?" He answered that he didn't on the form, but she had to verbally ask to clarify. When verbally asked, he said, "Well...yes. But I'll get the check in. I'll mail a check tomorrow."

Couple #2. There's not much more to say about this couple except for the fact that he was 29 and she was 17 and had to have her mother present because she was under age. I'm sure in some cultures this is normal. Hell, it's even normal in our culture. But they both looked so unhappy to be there, she looked scared to death. I just felt really sorry for her.

Couple #3. This was the couple I liked. They brought in cameras and asked if they could photograph every step in the process. Of course Todd and I both got our phones out and started taking some pictures of each other, just embarassed that we hadn't thought to bring in our own cameras.

So the paperwork is done. We could, legally, marry in 72 hours. I think we'll wait until the 13th. Which is about nine days away. Nine days.

Love Jack Johnson.

2005-08-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

We saw Jack Johnson last night and it was a great show. So great, in fact, that I'm thinking of changing my Jack's middle name to Johnson. I've seen him live before, but this show was much better. I don't know what it was, but it was good. The music was good, but I really enjoyed the photography that was displayed behind him throughout the show. It was fantastic. And we had great seats. Awesome.

2005-08-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

Spinners. Why?

12 Days.

2005-08-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

The wedding is 12 days away. And I think I need to start up a 12-step program, but I can't get into that right now. To distract myself from the stress, I'm going to make a list of what a universal, and important, number the number 12 is. Sometimes I just wish that I could sit on the floor on the brown carpet on Pamela Drive and watch Sesame Street and Mister Rogers.

12 inches in a foot
12 months in a year
12 noon, 12 midnight -- our days are divided by it
12 signs in the Western and Chinese zodiac
12 pairs of ribs in the human body (normally)
12 is a dozen, and we measure all things by dozens, including eggs and cookies. Of course there's the Baker's Dozen, which is a mystery in itself.
12 jurors in felony trials (hence, 12 Angry Men)
12 Days of Christmas
Movies with 12: The Dirty Dozen, 12 Monkeys, Ocean's Twelve
12 function keys on most keyboards
Biblical references to the number:
the 12 sons of Jacob,
the 12 tribes of Israel,
the 12 golden dishes for the dedication of the alter,
the 12 baskets of bread,
the 12 Apostles,
the 12 stars on the woman's head,
the 12 gates and foundations of new Jerusalem.
"twice 12" is the number of the heavenly elders;
the tree of life bears 12 manner of fruit;
the 12 apostles of the Lamb.
(I looked those up online, so if anyone istheologicalcal scholar and is reading this and finds error, take it up with the WWW.)

There you go, kids. Now back to work for me.

Sardines

2005-07-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

I don't think the church will hold the number of people who have RSVP'd to my wedding invitation.

They're just going to have to build a bigger church.

2005-07-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

I don't need people telling me that when THEY at Macaroni and Cheese for lunch regularly, they gained about seven pounds.

2005-07-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

What happened to our phone cam images?

Little Update

2005-07-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been in Tallahassee since Monday morning. Meeting with my favorite client. Travel sucks, though. I'm tired, a little cranky, and just want to be in my bed. On the last leg of my trip home, a very drunk woman sitting next to me talked my ear off. For two hours I listened to her life story, some stories she repeated a few times, and got every bit of wedding advice I could stand. Mostly, the smell of alcohol on her breath was the most frustrating.

I ate at some really good restaurants while I was there. One salad I got actually had a wedge of FRIED BRIE with it. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so. But before I got the restaurant recommendations from my client, the night I arrived I ate at TGI Friday's. As I was eating, I started to really look at all the crap they have hanging on the wall. You know the stuff I'm talking about -- every restaurant like TGI Friday's has it -- a wooden propeller hanging on the wall, antique junk, lots of old signs, maybe a baby doll carriage. Stuff like that. And I started to wonder (this type of thinking is a given when you eat alone), does every TGI Friday's have the same stuff? Do they actually make that stuff to look old and antique? If not, where do they get all of it? And who are the people in those old pictures? I think it's the same stuff. I think they spend a lot of money on that decor, creating it and placing it. I'm thinking of going to a few different TGI Friday's in the DFW area just to scope out the decor and take a little inventory.

I have to get 5 days of work done in 1.5 days today. Should be fun, given all the other meetings I have today.

About 23 more days till the wedding. And I have so much to do. I need an assistant.

Apples

2005-07-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

The other day, Todd and I were going somewhere and we stopped by Starbucks -- not for coffee, but for a sandwich. They really have the best sandwiches. Anyway, I wasn't that hungry, so I opted for the little box full of sliced apples, cheeses, crackers, and other fruits. (I wasn't even wearing my Kabbalah hunger bracelet!)

Anyway, we had to grab something quickly to eat in the car. So we got in the car and as I was eating my apples I said, "I love apples. But I like them sliced up like this, not biting into them. And if apples came sliced up this way, I'd eat them every day." This, of course, being the product of my grandmother slicing apples for me as a kid -- she spoiled me. And I'm terribly lazy. Again, digression.

So today I ran by 7-11 for some lunch. This may sound crazy, but my 7-11 is awesome. (By my, I mean, the one closest to where I live and work. I don't own it or anything. I wish! Heavens!) They have good, fresh sandwiches and fresh fruit, and I'm just tickled by their "gulp" drink which is just the right size for me, since I could never consume a "BIG GULP". People who do likely spend their day in the bathroom. And we all know how I hate a public restroom.

So I went in for a sandwich. And there they were -- "Crisp Green Apple Slices". Packed in a zipper bag, cold, and ready for me to consume. Now, I'm aware of the waste of plastic and energy that goes with providing me with these glorious apple slices, and I feel guilty about it and all. But holy moly do I love these apples.

So I bought them, then got in my SUV and went back to work.

Culture.

2005-07-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but at every company I've worked for, I've been chosen to sit (and participate) on the "Culture Committee".

What I find is that these committees don't really focus on making the company a better place to work, or on creating a "company culture"...It's a party planning group. Sometimes a bitch session.

What I find the most interesting, while attending these meetings, is that there are people who clearly don't have enough work to do. They clearly need more tasks. They need clients yelling at them. They need to have to travel and sell stuff. They need to have their phones ring off the wall. If they had these things to do, they wouldn't care about whose cube got decorated for their birthday and whose didn't or when the company would have a Hawaiian shirt day. I swear, every company is like the movie "Office Space", which is why that movie is pure genius.

I stayed home from work yesterday, not feeling well. I ended up working all day long and getting more work done in 8 hours than I have gotten done in the past two weeks. I think working from home on a regular basis should be encouraged. At least for me, it's more productive.

While I was working at home, Jack was lying on the floor chewing on a green string that he found somewhere, there's no telling where. I picked it up and decided to wrap and tie it around my wrist to serve as a reminder that I have to fit into my wedding dress in a month. To remind me to quit eating chocolate and lots of desserts. To remind me that I don't NEED or DESERVE really fattening food for making it through the day without biting someone's head off. It's my own kind of Kabbalah bracelet. And I like it. It's warded off evil Fat and Calorie Spirits for 24 hours so far. It's working. And I'll sell you one for $24.99 in a month when I prove that it works.

Have a glorious day, kids.

One month from today!

2005-07-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

xoxox

2005-07-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, my love.

Monkey see, monkey do.

2005-07-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

Click on just about anyone over there in the right hand navigation and they've all beat me to this.

10 years ago: First and foremost, I was skinny. Taking summer school classes, about to start my second year in college. I would assume that by now I'd changed my degree from nursing to political science, due to the fact that I found a "home" in arguing non-stop with my professors. That, and, bad smells are a big problem for me. I would have been dating the guy I dated for about three years and lived with in college. I was likely partying and drinking quite a bit, as well as finding a way out of living in the dorms. Man, was I skinny back then.

5 years ago: This is really hard. I had to consult my resume to find out what I was doing at this time professionally, and I can only take a stab at what was going on in my personal life. Four months earlier, I started my new job at the agency, working very long hours in a very creative and challenging work environment which I needed in a bad way -- I'd just lost my father and was dating and living with an alcoholic boyfriend. Work was a The Great Escape for me. Spent a lot of time wondering what the fuck I was doing with my life during this year. The bright, shining stars of this year - John Bailey and Emma T.

1 year ago: I was building a house in Juarez, Mexico and finding every excuse I could to spend time with and be close to Todd Luckey. I was falling in love with a younger man at the speed of light and never looking back. While that was the highlight of my week, I was spending every night of this week shoving earplugs into my ears so that I could sleep over the snoring, attempting to sleep on a thin mattress that sat right outside the door of a bathroom with no plumbing (dirty toilet paper in the trash can nearby), and getting up every morning and running outside the mission so that I could put my head between my legs and talk myself out of vomiting from the terrible smells in our quarters. Also, on this day, I was counting the days since the last time I went "number 2". I was up to 4 at this point and miserable because of it.

Yesterday: Work. Last night, Todd and I hung our shades and finished the wedding invitations. I also ate a delicious black bean burger at Chili's.

Today: Work. I mailed (most of) the wedding invitations this morning and helped cut up vegetables for our company July 4 (on July 8) cookout. Otherwise I've been working, reading these things on other people's blogs, and blowing my nose.

Tomorrow: Church wedding shower at 1:00. I have no idea what the rest of the day holds, and I'm happy for that. "No plans" and "nothing to do" are two of my favorite phrases lately.

5 snacks I enjoy: Twix, hummus, crunchy things. Mmmmmmm, and Twix.

5 bands that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: Sting, Bob Schneider, Damien Rice, Janet Jackson (from back in the day). Perhaps some NKOTB.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: First, like everyone else I'd pay off my debt, my family's debt, and then quit my job. I'd have someone invest some of the money (in an effort to "live on it"), I'd donate to a laundry list of charities, then I'd (selfishly) travel the world and (hopefully unselfishly) work for The Man, JC -- helping people less fortunate than myself.

5 locations I'd like to run away to: Anywhere, really. My only requirements are water, sun, sand, and a place to wash that sand off my body.

5 bad habits I have: Finishing other people's sentences, (very inconspicuously) signing (ASL) the first letter of each word of someone's conversation with me when I am bored with the topic-at-hand, thinking about what I'd do if I won the lotto, nail biting.

5 things I like doing: Finishing other people's sentences, signing the first letter...just kidding. I love to spend time alone with my fiance (rare occasion) read, debate/discuss, and watch movies. I also like hanging out with my youth group kids and my family.

5 things I would never wear: Go buy a Us, People, or In Touch magazine. All those things you see those chicks wearing -- I would never wear.

5 TV shows I like: The Daily Show, Chapelle Show, Reno 911, Southpark, Everwood.

5 movies I like: Garden State, Old School, Airplane!, I never can think of these, especially when there are so many.

5 famous people I'd like to meet: I'd like to hang out one night with Will Ferrell, Jon Stewart, Vince Vaughn, Adam Sandler, and Tracy Ullman. Although there are tons of people I'd like to meet.

5 biggest joys at the moment: The fact that it's Friday, the fact that I have no commitments tonight, my right nostril is clear, only 2.5 more hours of work, and I remembered to take my skirt to the dry cleaners this morning.

5 favorite toys: Like from when I was a kid? I have no idea. I had one Barbie, but I cut all her hair off and colored her head with a paint pen. Then I cried all night because I knew that hair wouldn't grow back. I did have some of those Cabbage Patch Kids, I liked those. I remember my grandmother showing us how to make coffins with popsicle sticks for Mathew's G.I. Joe's. We also played cars a lot. And I loved Legos.

5 people to tag: I think I'm last on the list.